chapter*Liss
Wake up to light And it’s not the streetlight Wake up to singing They’re singing? Grip my tooth Taking this with me. It sounds like four part harmony. The sweatshirt’s off. I need to brush my teeth. Yeah. Yeah. That’s definitely four-part harmony. Kneeling up, rising to the window.
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All the lamps are in the yard. They’re lying face down. They’re singing at the grass. There’s the giant bunny. His suit is on now. A grown man. Lying face-down in his own front yard. Singing to the grass. Naked from the waist down.
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They’ve brought all the lamps from the house outside. They’ve got them strung up: power strips, an orange cord. They say orange is the color of insanity. (I just thought you should know.) They say that orange is insane. What have they done with my Winnie! She’s smoking. She has a cigarette in her hand. She’s graceful dancing through the forest, though the lamps. She swirls around a lamp and stops, peeking. What’s around the other side? She’s hunting. She’s hunting in a forest made of lamps in the front yard! And Candy. Candycane. She’s on my dad, her arms around him. She’s licking his neck. Not kissing. emphLicking.
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Dad is in a towel.
He needs to work out more.
And they’re singing four-part harmony!
Winnie stares at the lampshade.
She’s wiping it off.
She picks at it. Something’s stuck to it. She takes it off.
She looks underneath.
She’s staring at the light.
She’s staring directly at it.
She takes the lampshade off and throws it in the air.
She twirls it.
It doesn’t float down like she expected.
It flops sideways.
It doesn’t roll.
Winnie kicks it.
It hits Cock’s back.
He takes off the bunny helmet.
He looks at my dad.
“Hey! Hey!”
The bunny is up.
He takes Candy’s arms off my dad.
“I didn’t say this could become a permanent thing!”
Candy swipes at the bunny.
She goes back to licking my dad.
The bunny reaches down, he grabs his Candy’s legs, he pulls her off my dad and he drags her across the lawn.
“Stop! Cock!”
Away from the lamps.
“Cock! Cock!”
Almost into the street.
They’re right next to the Escalade.
“Cock. You don’t know when to stop. You never know when to stop.”
“emphI don’t know when to stop. emphI don’t know when to stop? How bout you fucking my friend! Howbout you chaining me to the entertainment center!”
“It wasn’t chains.”
“Pffft.”
“And he’s my friend too.”
“Oh, emphgreat!” Cock turns his back on Candy. “Richard. I think you should leave.”
Winnie looks up from her hunting. She looks concerned.
“It’s been a blast—”
“You’re kicking him out? You can’t emphkick him out!”
“It’s my house, Candy, why don’t you go inside and let Jimmy and what’s-his-name out of the..uh..the..uh..”
That’s when Candy sees me.
Winnie says: “Richard, we should leave.”
But Candy pushes past Cock when she sees me.
She’s got this look in her eye like one of those children raised with wolves.
She smacks the glass. “Fuck!”
“Candy, get in the fucking house.”
She’s around the back of the car. Trying the door.
Back one’s locked.
I spring up.
I’m about to press the door-lock button but it doesn’t matter.
The windows are smashed out, remember?
“There’s that little emphdemon in here!”
Candy reaches through the glass. She roots around.
She’s inside the car.
“That’s my emphfucking sweatshirt!!” Candy pulls it off me. She pulls my hair.
“What is she doing?”
My dad says: “I don’t know.”
Then Dad and Cock are on the street and Dad just in his towel with his not-skinny belly and Cock and him are trying to pull Candy off me.
But they can’t.
Candy’s got my neck in her grip. She’s dragging me by it. She kicks the door.
“—The emphfuck away from me.”
She kicks it so hard it closes back.
Candy’s smashing the window more and her ankle is bleeding when she pulls me out of the Escalade.
Cock and Dad have their hands up. “Candy. Chill.”
And she’s dragging me through the yard.
Winnie sideways.
Cock is holding my dad back. “Trust me. Let me handle this.”
Winnie holding my dad’s arm.
Dad is saying: “Is she joking?”
Winnie and Cock are telling him no.
There goes the pool table.
“Candy. Just. Be reasonable.”
There goes Jacobi. There goes the cop.
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She’s scraping me on the concrete. She doesn’t care. I’m slapping her. Slapping her head. She spits. That Candycane spits in my mouth. I’m trying to spit it out. Turning my head sideways. Sticking my tongue out. Wiping it on my shirt. There’s Dad right behind us. “Candy. What are you doing? Stop.” But I’m underwater.
———————
I’m under here with SHARK!
My head is.
One of my arms.
My ass and the rest of my body is still dry.
Fingers on my neck.
Digging in.
Squeezing.
Like she’s squeezing out a swimsuit.
Get all the water out of this.
Squeeze it dry.
Cept in my case it’s not the water.
There’s a hand on my elbow, pulling me.
Candy’s nail is pinching into the back of my head, gripping me.
My face is on the tile—smooth tile at the top of the pool.
My neck is on concrete.
That fine-grained concrete. My Adam’s apple is pressed into my neck.
It’s not supposed to go that far.
It’s pressing the concrete.
I’m not breathing.
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Bad things can happen to people who aren’t breathing. I once read: You can go three weeks without food, three days without water, and three seconds without blood. I’m not sure how you can remove someone’s blood in less than three seconds, so that you can then measure how long it takes them to die without blood. So I was never really sure about that book. They didn’t give a measurement for air.
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Books can’t tell you everything. Books are just a guide. If they did have a measurement for air, they would have to take it out. Because of David Blaine.
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Where are you buddy? Where are you friend? Sharks breathe underwater. I am not a shark.
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Swallowing water. Swallowing chlorine. Kicking. I’m kicking someone. I think it might be Dad. I try to open my eyes. I do. I shut them. Choking. I want to see SHARK! this one last time. But I can’t. I can’t even open my eyes. There’s too much chlorine. I’m pretty sure if you squeeze someone’s neck too hard they die. All I want. All I really wanted. Was to see my SHARK! one last time. Swallowing water. I’m swallowing water. Dive. I’m scraping at the pool with my one hand. Trying to dive. Something breaks free! I’m underwater. There’s no more hands on me. I’m free. I dropped it! I’m upside-down. I had to use my hand! Candy’s body is there. I’m sinking. Tooth: swipe it! Climb! It’s getting away. Sinking. My tooth is gone. Never to be found in written history. And now my eyes are open. I can see. There’s SHARK! He’s right below me. There’s that little Candycane. There’s Cock! My dad! Dad is pulling Candy cane! I’m up! I’m up! I’m choking! Splash! I hold my heart. Cough! We’re fine! We’re all fine! I check my heart: it’s beating! I didn’t have cardiac arrest! This is good. Liss, this is very good. Now to get that Candy cane. She’s pulled underwater! She’s pulled there by my dad! Becca has Mega Cock and she’s out screaming! “Becca! Call an ambulance! Liss are you okay?” “You want me call an ambulance?” “Liss are you okay?” Then Candy’s rising, beating Dad. “I’ll kill that little demon!!” My dad comes up. He’s gasping. Candy grabs his head. She’s got her legs around him! “Demon! I’m free!” Dad grabs her by the hair but Candy sees me. She’s coming my way! The edge, SHARK! Swim for the edge! GASP and I’m CHOKING. I might have thrown up. It might have been spit. If I choke I can get that candy spit out of me! Swim! She gets me underwater! I’m grabbing her shirt. Oh, no, Candycane. Not this time. She fucks my windpipe! She fucks it with her hand! And I’m not breathing. Cock’s voice from above the water: “Caaaaaaannnnnnddddyyy!” And Becca’s screaming. This might be the last thing I hear. SHARK! you’ve got to help me. I’m praying to you, SHARK! bite that candy cane. If ever I needed help, this is the time SHARK! Remember me! Bite that Candy cane!
But I don’t even see him. What’s the use of a shark that never bites? Mega Cock isn’t crying. I would like to hear him cry, once more. Can’t I get my wish? SHARK! He’s swimming there below me. He looks calm. Candy’s hands are not upon me. There are no hands on me anymore. There’s my SHARK! There he is. Baby. Baby. Swimming softly. What you have to say?
Shark swims. He’s not even looking. When I give him back to Pila I will say: “Here’s your shark! He’s broken.” Open my mouth underwater: Scream: “SHAAARRK!”
Then those arms around me. Those can only be my dad’s. There’s that pudgy belly and the strength of the legs. Kicking. Kicking. Swim. Now we’re up and Candy’s screeching right before me. “Liss are you okay?” I’m breathing. Yes I am okay. There’s that stupid Candy screaming: “Deeeeemon! Deeeem—” “Shut the fuck up Candy. Richard, come this way.” Dad’s voice in my ear. His arms around me. “Liss are you okay?” I’m nodding. Spit that saliva out of my mouth. I’m treading. I can tread okay. “Grab this Richard.” Dad has his arms around me. I’m treading anyway. My dad has his arm out. Candy can’t get to us now. Cock is poking her in the neck with a pole. It’s the back of the pool net. Cock is poking her away. “Stop it you fuck!” She hits my dad away. His arms fall from me. There’s nothing around me. Water. Skinny me. Kicking my legs. “You poked my eye!” “Candy, will you emphchill. There’s nothing here.” But there is something. I’m treading. There is something, right before me. Reach out my hand. Grab it. Where’s the button? Candy’s there. There’s the button. Candy’s coming toward me. She’s reaching for my hair! I grab that floating plastic. Candy’s reaching for it! But I’m taking a deep breath. I got it. Dad is reaching for me. Candy poked his eye. I take the plastic underwater. Candy’s there. You sent me what I needed! You heard my prayer! I grip it. THANK YOU SHARK! Candy’s like a crazy pixie! She scrapes! She swipes! Her mouth is open! Eyes are wide! I poke it in her mouth. She bites! I’m thumbing for the button. Let’s see how this bad boy works underwater. I push it in. It’s at her throat! Candy’s shouting “DEEEEEEMMOON!” Bubbles coming out her nose! Let’s see what happens when I press this button. I punch it! Candy stares. That candy cane goes rigid! I hold that button in. I hold my breath. Who says I can’t breathe underwater?! I press that taser in her. emphWho says. You press that button in. Thank you sharky devil! You came for me, I swear! That candy cane is dead now. Press it again! That Candy’s still. Frozen! I have protective coating on the outside of my body! What do YOU have!! Her arms are up like she wants to get me. But now that candy’s still. I’m a shark! She’s looking at me. emphWhat are you. Then my dad is pulling me up. I’m not even breathing. I emphhold my breath. What are emphyou. She blinks. Both eyes. She sees me going up. She sees that I’m above the water. Then stiff candy. That’s the last thing she ever knows.