Another article to reorganize my thoughts.
I meditate because it's part of my cultivation practice, not merely because I want to fulfill my daily meditation quota and continue my months-long meditation streak. I meditate because I want to understand the world more and become mentally stronger through higher spiritual awarness.
I am cultivating the ultimate softness to attain the ultimate hardness, become unperturbed in both body and mind.
My cultivation does not last only in my meditation, it lasts for an entire day, the whole day. I don't need to become the best or the greatest, I simply want to rediscover myself, find out who I really am.
Concentration. Relaxation. Sincerity. These are the main ingredients for Sublime Spiritual Awareness that dissolves all attachments and suffering.
Concentration is knowing why you are here, every second, without forgetting or escaping it. Relaxation is understanding that the self needs no protection because there's no self in the first place. Sincerity is maintaining the honest determination for Transcendence, pursuing enlightenment for the sake of it, not for any other superficial goals.
I need not permission from authorities. I need not the praise of people. There's no need to meet the hidden standards and expectations of anyone. No need to struggle against time and space. No need to forcefully change what is. All else are distractions, the only question I must concern myself with is "Who am I?"
Careful. Answers are the best distractions from the question. I need not words or elegant explanations. I need not scientific theories or mystical speculations. I simply have to See for myself, to Experience how it is, and Live as I am.
It's not so much about finding the secret hidden truth but simply about accepting the obvious giant truth in front of me. The Wordless Truth. The Timeless Truth. The Inconceivable Truth. Anything one can point to is not truth, but merely a reflection of it. Seeing all untruths, one arrives at the Ultimate Truth.
The world may be infinitely vast yet I need not go anywhere else. The Real Treasure is right where I am. It doesn't disappear simply because I forgot about it. It doesn't disappear because I failed at something. It doesn't disappear simply because I wavered and fell. It doesn't disappear because there's no internet connection. It doesn't disappear because someone cursed me.
It's right here. It can't be taken away. It's all I ever need.
At this moment, I can hear some of the readers' minds frantically grasping and finding material connections and logical structure with the spiritual stuff mentioned above. Trying to reconcile celestial truths with mortal logic, unable to let go of "common sense", they end up confusing themselves.
Those who can let go of all their preconceived notions and see beyond common sense will be able to understand the inconceivable truths and read the signless signs of the universe. Logic and common sense are not a necessity, just like how one doesn't need spoon and fork to eat sandwiches.
Still, it's very much understandable if one only wants to ride bicycle with extra two wheels on the side for balance. Try copy pasting passages you don't understand in chatGPT to comprehend the logical structure, only to realize "wait i feel like i already knew about it before even chatGPT said that."
Failure, humiliation, physical pain, fatigue, and difficulty are often perceived as "omg this is so terrible, I need lots of stimulation, naps, and food to recover from this!" Still, there will be the time when one realizes that no amount of stimulation, naps, and food will allow them to recover from it, as their perceived suffering is only a mental construct.
As I am a Cultivator, I cannot let myself be swayed by such mental constructs. True cultivators who discipline themselves everyday knows that fatigue and complaints are an expensive luxury they can't afford. They have conditioned their minds to respond with concentration to deal with desires, respond with relaxation to deal with fatigue, and respond with sincerity to deal with complaints. I'd like to do the same.
Be kind to yourself but don't spoil yourself. You're not a child anymore. Take refuge in the abode of supreme wisdom, finding delight and beauty in truth. Because when illuminated by the light of awareness, all material cravings and attachments are empty. As I am a Cultivator, I know full well that emotions can only confuse me, not satisfy me.
There's no such thing as feeling bad or feeling better. All mental states are empty of existence. As all reality is thus, we can only feel thus. Shine the light of awareness and relaxation at everything, thus the universe passes through you. The more open and relaxed we are, the more steadfast, satisfied, and stable we become.
Trying to fit in with others, we become entangled with them. At some point, it's almost impossible to distinguish which is us and which are theirs. We even go as far as to hurt and blame ourselves just to fit in with the group and feel better. We think it's romantic and cool to become completely entangled with the other that we lost ourselves. Completely lost in the herd, we become one with the majority and hate the minority, forgetting that we were once part of the same minority.
It's nearly impossible to cultivate and persistently do spiritual practices when we so desperately cling to the majority and move along with crowd, fearing to be abandoned and left alone.
But then, the truth is, our life is ours alone. We have to make our own decisions as no one will make it for us. We have to live our own life, as no one will live it for us. We have to guide and discipline ourselves, as no one will guide our life for us. Friends, family, and people may support and help us from time to time, but ultimately, we are alone. It only appears that we're together but as everyone part ways we realize that we have always been by ourselves all along.
And that's a good thing. We can never be abandoned in the first place, unless we choose to abandon ourselves. Accepting this truth, we can see all social constructs, expectations, and attachments that bind us to this world.
For me, to be heard is to hear myself, to be understood is to understand myself, to be cared is to care for myself. Seeking external validations, one is bound to be disappointed and hurt. By understanding the truth of solitude, we can better see the interconnectedness of all things, that even when one appears to be alone, we know they are not.
"Look not at the words but the reality they're pointing to."
"The subtle beauty of reality is only revealed to those who accept it with sincerity."
"Before seeking treasures elsewhere, open the one you already have."