chapter*Liss
You don’t want to hate idiots just cause they’re idiots.
They can’t help themselves.
I press the up button on the elevator.
“I usually take the stairs,” Jacobi says, “For exercise.”
I can almost hear what my dad is thinking on that one.
———————
Winnie holds the door for us. “Hey, sweetie.” “Good morning, Winnie.” Sometimes I go formal like that. “Is that your new tablet?” “Yes,” I say, “It has an excellent program for stargazing.” “Has Stephen called?” my dad asks. “No,” Winnie says. “See,” Jacobi says, “I told you.” “Liss. You wanna sit here?” “Winnie can watch me.” “She has work to do, too, though. You have the wireless password?” I nod. Dad and Jacobi go into the conference room. Winnie is in the break room, putting pretzels into a basket. “You want a bagel?” “No.” Jacobi comes out and wipes his face with his hand. His desk has fried chicken crumbs on it. When he sits down the chair is lopsided. He was a leprechaun for Halloween. The ones who guard the pot of gold? He was that. Jacobi takes a pill off his desk and goes back into the conference room. My dad motions to the door. Jacobi gets up and closes it. Winnie is looking at Jacobi’s desk, looking right past me. “Was that ecstasy?” I say it without looking up from my tablet. “Yes,” Winnie says, arranging the bagels, “I think it was.”
———————
When it’s time for the meeting, Winnie calls downstairs. “Oh shit,” she says. “Phone busy?” “Yes,” she says. Winnie cusses very proper. When she says emphs’s they’re choppy, like emphsh. Or emphch. “Oh emphshit,” she says. “Want me to get him?” I stand.
Stephen’s office is downstairs. It’s the corner office. It’s on the lake. Below him, they give sailing classes. Twenty sailboats on the water, little tiny ones. Sometimes the kids knock them over on purpose, then the instructor comes to help them. This is on the end without Judge Judy. I’m not sure whose houses are over here. Probably Kanye.
———————
I knock on Stephen’s door. He leans forward and sees me. He motions me inside. I sit. He’s watching emphGo Fug Yourself. I put my tablet on the couch beside me and I watch TV. “Are you ready to go?” “You have a nice couch.” “My friends say I should be a therapist.” “How do you like your tablet?” He’s pointing at mine. “I like it,” I say. He says: “I have the same one. Is your dad upstairs?” “Yeah.” “Is Jacobi with him?” I nod. Stephen stands. He lets me out the door. Stephen pretends not to know about the things Jacobi does. And the things my dad does. But he knows.
Stephen leaves the door to the conference room open. Winnie is wiping down Jacobi’s desk with a towel. Jacobi’s standing at the window of the conference room, looking out. “I’d prefer you didn’t do that.” “Sit down.” That’s Stephen. “I’d prefer she didn’t do that. I have a certain chi about that desk.” “Too bad that chi isn’t helping us with Methanex,” Stephen says. “Hey,” Jacobi smiles, “Hey. Methanex is fine.”
This is how their meeting goes.
“Is Kamesh here?”
“He’s downstairs.”
“Why is he downstairs? He should be upstairs. Also, where were you? I thought this meeting was supposed to be at ten.”
“Me?”
“You, yeah; who am I talking to? Where were you?”
“Richard had to come pick me up..cause..my bike..”
“You picked him up?”
My dad says: “Yeah.”
“Well that was nice of you.”
“My bike is totaled,” Jacobi says.
Stephen says: “I hope you’re alright.”
Then Jacobi goes on for about five minutes about his exoskeleton.
He has to get a new one.
It’s a good thing he was wearing it.
These four black guys came along and helped him.
They were the nicest guys.
“Do you need to go home?”
“No, but—Lance is sick.”
Stephen tosses his phone on the table. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
“He’s having trouble shitting,” Jacobi says.
“I’m so sorry.”
“He can hardly sit down. It hurts him. I have a picture.”
Lance is Jacobi’s dog.
Stephen doesn’t want to see the picture.
Jacobi has his phone out.
He’s showing it to him anyway.
“That’s terrible. Jack. If you need to go home—”
“No I’m fine.”
“Alright, well, if you need to go home..” Stephen trails off.
Jacobi is standing at the window. He’s knocking. He gets Winnie’s attention. Jacobi is holding up a cup, shaking it, pointing.
Winnie comes to the door.
“Winnie, please.”
“Are you thirsty?”
Jacobi hands her the cup.
Winnie goes and gets Jacobi water.
“Anyway,” Stephen says: “Methanex.”
“It’s done.”
Jacobi spins around in his chair.
“It’s done?”
Jacobi is facing the conference room wall.
“It’s done.”
Stephen looks to my dad. “Well. This is good news.”
My dad closes his screen. “Not exactly.”
Jacobi puts his feet on the wall. “What isn’t done about it? What isn’t done?”
“Hold on a minute,” Stephen says, “Didn’t Kamesh do a lot of the work on this?”
No one says anything.
Stephen presses a button on the speakerphone. “Winnie. Can you get Kamesh up here? Jacobi. Why is Kamesh downstairs?”
Jacobi shrugs.
“Isn’t this your meeting?”
Stephen looks at my dad.
My dad looks at the back of Jacobi’s chair.
Jacobi’s hands are stretched out like he’s measuring a spiderweb.
“There are a couple of items that are undone,” my dad says.
Jacobi says: “No they’re aren’t.”
“Is Kamesh coming?”
I hear Winnie both with and without the speakerphone. “I pinged him, Stephen.”
Stephen presses the button. He’s looking at the phone. “Did he ping back?”
Winnie presses cancel on her speakerphone. She talks to Stephen through the open conference room door.
“No,” she says, “he didn’t.”
“Will you go downstairs and get him?”
Winnie starts out.
“Jacobi. Would you go downstairs and get Kamesh?”
Stephen kicks Jacobi’s chair.
Jacobi drops the spiderweb.
“Wha—? Sure.”
Winnie holds the door for him.
Stephen asks my dad: “So what items are left undone? Are we gonna make Methanex?”
My dad says: “No.”
“No?”
“By August 1st?” my dad says. “No.”
“No?”
“No,” my dad says. “Not gonna make it.”
The door slams. Winnie is standing by it. Stephen looks over his shoulder.
Then he slumps in his seat.
“Why aren’t we gonna make it?”
“Because,” my dad says, “The number of hours remaining on outstanding items is greater than the number of hours between now and August 1st.”
That’s all he says. I love when my dad breaks it down.