Dad and Candy are talking. This is what they say. (Candy leans into Dad.) emphWhisper whisper whisper. (Dad shows Candy his phone.) emphGiggle giggle giggle. Now Candy takes Dad’s phone. They’re scrolling together. They have a secret on their phone.
———————
A peck at my elbow. emph<Idios Mio! emph<Idios Mio! <Idios Mio! Mama mio mia idios mio! He’s hugging me. My hands around his neck. “Mama mio mia idios mio.” “Mama mio mi amigo. Quesqu’il faire?” I look at my dad and Candy. “Il a conversar.” “Baha lobos,” my Idios Mio says, “Baha lobos. Ay dios mio.” He pushes my plate of Mexican Benedict onto the napkin. I hug him again. “Je t’aime mi idios mio. Je beaucoup t’aime. Forever.” Idios Mio has the pepper shaker over my Mexican Benedict. I stop him. I’ve got to ask this while you’re here. “Quesqu’il’dit—comment dire—comment dire le—le—qu’il faire?” I’m pointing at the phone secret bitches. “Ques’que—comment—le qu’il fait?” “Do you want your pepper?” Idios Mio is asking me. “Do you want your pepper?” I point to the steak segments. “Did you take one?” Idios Mio shakes his head. I shake mine. I put my hand on his shoulder. “Idios Mio, mi Idios Mio, quesque le comment non?” I’m wagging the piece of steak in his face. Idios Mio puts down the pepper shaker. “You need to eat your steak.” I give it to him. “Manger la miercoles, Idios Mio, and tell me—comment dire—how do you say—” I’m motioning to Dad and Candy. “How do you say..?” “Modo aumentado,” mi Idios Mio says, and he eats his steak.
———————
I send him on his way. I don’t want any pepper. Mi Idios Mio, mi Idios Mio, mi amour, my friend, my only friend. Sometimes I wish I would wrap you in a napkin and take you home. When I got there I would make a place setting with mi Idios Mio in it. Right in its middle. Mi Idios Mio, mi Mio, come to my house and live.
———————
Modo aumentado. Enhanced mode. That’s what Candy and Dad are talking about. I’ve seen it before. I’ve seen it in Dad. Augmented mode. From augment. To make something bigger by adding to it.
To make something emphgreater.
Modo aumentado. To emphincrease.
That’s what they’re talking about.
———————
Mom does augmented mode. She does it. She does it with candy—a different kind of candy—and she does it with coffee. She does it with sugar. She does it with Facebook. She does it with phone calls. She does it with drama.
Mom does augmented mode with Dad. She does it. She does it underhanded. She does it sly. Mom tells us about it before he gets there, sometimes. Not exactly. She tells us what she’s going to do. We know what is going to happen before it does.
Mom does augmented mode.
———————
Edy does augmented mode. She does it with energy. Edy is a ball of wow. She’s kinetically inclined. Edy stores it—she packs it—then she lets it go. I hate when Edy’s mode is aumentado. emphC’est past bien. Way past.
———————
I do modo aumentado. Sometimes. I do enhanced mode. Sometimes.
Sometimes it’s because I’m angry. And what makes a person angry?
I suppose. It’s when a person doesn’t get what they want.
That’s when I get angry. That’s when I enter enhanced mode.
A person does not need very much. They don’t.
They need a few things. They need to eat. They need clothes. They need to be safe. Absent those three a person gets angry.
Modo aumentado. Tends to happen. Then.
———————
“Candy.” Candy turns. “I’ll take my pepper now.” Candy was talking with my dad. “I’ll take my pepper now.” Candy comes to me. “Didn’t Hector bring it to you?” “Il Idios Mio! Il Idios Mio! Il est mi emphidios mio!” “Right. Well. I’ll get your pepper.” Candy is talking with Pila. “Everything alright Liss? You good? Everything good?” Pila always wants to make sure everything’s good. I give him the thumbs-up. “Good. Good,” Pila says. “Richard. Richard. Everything good?” Dad holds up his fork. Candy is back with the pepper. “Why didn’t Hector give you any?” “Il Idios Mio.” I’m grave. “Didn’t il idios mio bring it to you?” I point to the spot on my Mexican Benedict where I want the pepper. Hector is watching this. I make Candy pour the pepper. I can’t stand when people in restaurants make Mexicans do all the pepper. “And Candy.” “Huh?” “Bring me my bowl.”
———————
Pila helps me.
“What do you want to see again?”
“Whether he can breathe out of water.”
Candy is filling the bowl at the tap.
Some guy is talking.
“It’s Candy, right?”
Candy shuts off the water.
“emphCandy emphcane. I’ll take uh Long Island.”
Me and Pila look at each other.
“Candy. Give me the bowl. He’s kind of used to his cage.”
“Just for a minute.”
Pila looks at my dad.
“Is this alright with you?”
“He’s your shark.”
“Uh Long Island. Like a double. Can you do a double?”
Candy’s with the guy. “I can make you two.”
The guy scratches the inside of his leg.
“They’re already—there’s like—”
Pila says: “There’s five types of liquor in em.” Pila’s eyeing the guy. “Haven’t I seen you in here before?”
The guy says: “Naw.”
Pila looks doubtful.
Pila has the SHARK! cage in two hands.
I’m holding the bowl.
“I know that guy’s been in here before,” Pila says to me.
Pila’s about to pour SHARK!
“He’s the guy who lost his watch,” I say, and Pila tries to stop Candy but she’s already making his drink.
———————
“Candy,” the guy’s saying, “emphCandy emphcane.” Then he looks at my dad. “She should have a boyfriend. Don’t you think.”
My dad barely looks up. “She does have a boyfriend,” my dad says.
Candy says, “He’s rich.”
The guy takes possession of his Long Island. “Does e have guns like these?” He rolls up his sleeve.
“Please take your elbow off the bar.” That’s Pila.
“Oh. Sorry. Sorry.” He lifts his drink, and bows his head at the same time, to Pila.
Pila says, “Candy, I need to talk to you.”
Then it’s just me and Dad and this guy at the bar.
“Sweet piece a ass.”
My dad says nothing.
The guy cracks up laughing. His head is on the bar.
If Pila was here he’d tell the guy to get his head off the bar.
“That is one sweet piece emphuh ass.” The guy is talking to himself. Then he raises his head and goes back talking to my dad. “I got her number when I waz here last.”
“Oh yeah.”
“Yeah.” The guy cracks up laughing. “Then I lef muh phone.” He takes the straw out of his Long Island and slurps around the ice. “Her number was in the phone. Lef muh watch too. Drove home drunk. Didn’t realize till I got home that her number was in mah phone!”
“But you remembered to take your keys.”
“What?”
“You left your phone. You left your watch. But you remembered to take your keys.”
“Well. Like I said. I was drunk.”
“Ask Pila.”
“Pillah?”
“Maybe he’s got your watch.”
“Ask that girl to marry me is what I’m gonna do.” He yells: “Candy! You got a boyfriend or you jest lyin’?”
“I have a boyfriend,” Candy says. Pila’s coming to help me with the shark. Candy is back behind the bar.
“Show me the ring. You make the best drinks in here. Show it to me, go ahead, I know how you girls be. You gotta ring? Or you wear a fake one? Make me another Long Island, okay, I’m almost done with this one. Stop me at three. Stop me at three. I can’t drink more than four of these. What’s in it again? Is that a shark? Lemme see. Lemme see. That a fake ring?”
Candy is holding out her hand.
The guy takes it.
“Is this engagement or marriage?”
He drops her hand.
“I don’t believe you really got a boyfriend.”
“I do,” she says, “I do.” And she points at my dad.
She takes her skinny little finger and she crooks it and she points it across the bar at my dad.
“I do have a boyfriend,” Candy says. “And that’s him. That’s him right there.”
———————
Pila’s next to me.
He talks in a low voice.
“That guy was in here before,” he says.
Pila is stirring the shark bowl.
“Why are you stirring it?”
“I want to make sure there’s plenty of oxygen. Candy, did you pour this from the tap?”
She nods.
“Gimme some of those Ty Nants.”
“Pila, you’re insane.”
“Just give me em.”
Candy has them in her fingers but she says: “For a science project?!”
She sets the bottles down.
Pila’s talking low.
“That guy was in here before. He left his watch. He left his phone. He left some change on his table.”
“Was he here alone?”
“No,” Pila says, “he was here with a friend. They skipped their bill. His friend gets up and leaves through this gate.” Pila shows me the gate. “This guy”—Pila’s eyeing him—“disappears. He leaves his watch and his phone and some change on the table.”
“He was very drunk?”
“Yes.”
“He forgot his phone?”
“No.” Pila’s squinting at the guy. “He paid with it.”
———————
The guy is on his second Long Island, which is mostly water and fruit juice per Pila’s instruction. Candy makes it while the guy goes to the bathroom. “He’ll probably shit all over the place.” “If he does, I’ll fucking rub his face in it. That’s the guy who left his watch.” “emphThat’s the guy?” “Yeah.” “Do we still have it?” “It’s in the back room.” “Should I give it to him?” “Fuck no. If he orders another drink I’ll kick him out. If he won’t leave, I’m calling fucking Bryan.” “Serious?” “Yeah.” “What do I say if he asks me for it?” Pila leans up over the bar. “He hasn’t asked you for it yet?” “No.” “Tell him to fuck himself. If he asks for it I’ll slice that fucker up the back of his neck.” Pila takes a grapefruit scooper. “Give me that.” “It’s my bar, motherfucker.” But Pila throws the grapefruit scooper behind the bar. “If he asks for another drink I’m’onna piss in it. Is he still in the bathroom? Fuck. I’m calling Bryan. Give me the phone.” But Candy has her phone out. “You have his number?” Candy holds up her finger. She’s dialing it. The guy comes out and he’s looking at my dad and he’s all: “Fuck, man, all that time. That’s not right to do. All that time emphyou were her boyfriend, and you two—I’m embarrassed. I’m embarrassed. I made a fool of myself, and you just sat there. Why didn’t you—? emphYou were her boyfriend emphthe whole time and you just emphsat there? I feel so stupid. I’m serious, man. You’re a lucky fucker. How long y’all been together? I don’t emphbelieve this! I feel so emphstupid. Don’t play—don’t emphplay with me like that. I wouldn’t’a been talking to her if I emphknew—emphif I knew!” “It’s okay,” Candy says, “we play this game all the time.” And she goes to my dad and puts her hand on his.