Another unlucky streak of bad days, it seems to happen every other week.
The amount of noise, itch, and pain makes me unable to concentrate on solo thinking, but by writing I'll be able to anchor my thoughts without losing them.
I woke up with a sore under my left foot, walking properly is now out of the question. Is this what they call athlete's foot? I went to school without water and walked 3.7km before I got home after all.
The itch and pain most parts of my body are gone except for the one on my ass. That thing has been bothering me for a few days now. Is it impossible to have a day without experiencing a single itch or pain, or perhaps I just don't notice those days because I take them for granted?
What is a human? I have pondered upon this same question every year without any satisfaction. Are corrupt politicians human? Are serial killers human? Of course, they are. For most people, they're conveniently not human. For them, one can only be a human being if they're aligned with the established social norms. The more they deviate from it, the less human they are.
For me, being human is the act of struggling and trying in a world of uncertainty. But this definition is flawed too. Because it implies that those who have given up trying and struggling are no longer human. I think the lame biological definition of a human is more than enough. Can there be anything more inclusive than that definition?
Thus, I believe that even if I use my powers, I will still remain as a human being. I have to admit, my life is a little bit miserable. Mostly because I'm hiding and consolidating my powers for the sake of my plans. I may say that I do not want to impose my will on the world, and yet I am imposing those plans to the world. Whenever I go outside to do chores without wearing outdoor clothes, I'm also imposing my will on the world by making myself imperceptible and forgettable, simply because it's convenient. If I'm already doing that anyway, why shouldn't I do more?
Granted, I still need to hide for my plans to work. And I did say that I'll only use my powers when I'm completely cornered or when it's finally my turn. I'm not completely cornered yet. It's still not my turn yet. But why should I remain miserable? Not that I'm actually miserable, and I can never be miserable as long as I remember my true name.
Quite frankly, I just want to use my powers because I'm bored as hell, and the ordinary distractions and addictions of a mortal life do not work for someone who remembers their true name. Thus, I'll start with simple things. First, every water I drink shall be the water of life. Every meal I eat shall become divine. And every breath I receive shall be the elixir of stars.
No, there are lines I wouldn't cross simply because they're impractical at this moment. Reading and invading seems like a good way to go insane. Likewise, trying to gain knowledge through other means isn't a good idea. Unless I'm in a place where I can scream for 24 hours without anyone being disturbed, I won't use the powers I can't handle.
It's unfortunate but I'll start playing the game now. It's still not my turn so I won't get serious.