Everytime I take emotional or existential damage from unexpected grave mistakes and failures, it seems that some shell, outer layer of my personality peels off and I become a little more "free". The estimated amount of growth per grave failure is about 5%.
While it would be such a great idea to make thousands more mistakes, this will not work if what I did is deliberate and expected, where I didn't take any real emotional/existential damage.
Furthermore, my life isn't a game character that I can just drag in the base of mobs to farm and grind for levels and equipment. Unlike game characters, we feel the pain when we get hurt, making such grinding method extremely difficult in real life.
After all, almost no one wants to get hurt just for a chance of improving or learning a little, everyone would rather just stay stagnant and comfy instead of exploring the unknown and getting hurt.
So I've been thinking of one day mental simulations to show how easy it is to gain and lose money, to suddenly change our life in just a day, so people will know that neither money, status, or fame isn't that important as we think.
Take note that what's going to happen below isn't daydreaming or fantasy, but scientific hypothetical situations designed to show how malleable life is.
One day, Bob woke up in the morning. It's the same day all over again. He got exams this day but haven't finished reviewing for it. He got homework due today but haven't started. He checked his social media and messages and saw that there's one person who contacted him, "how nice!" he thought to himself.
Looking at the message there's only "Portable Toilet, Limited time offer! Buy now!"
With a disappointed look he let go of his phone and took the usual breakfast. He has no idea of what he's doing in his life. He doesn't feel like going to school this time, so instead of going to school, he wandered aimlessly on the streets.
Seeing a mall, he entered it without hesitation, now looking at his surroundings a little. There's many people of different kinds, but none of them are important. He believes that even himself isn't important either.
Sitting on a nearby bench, he noticed some old granny wandering alone, wearing some shiny accessories, hoping to buy something. For some reason, his body suddenly moved and approached the granny, introducing himself and wanting to help the old granny with his shopping.
Fortunately, the old woman was kind and allowed him to help. He bought groceries for her and helped her find clothes for her grandchildren. The granny was grateful and asked if he want to come to her house.
They walked outside the mall and to his surprise, Bob saw a luxurious car who parked in front of him. The granny told him to come, so he followed inside. Eventually, they got to the granny's home, which is an extremely big mansion.
She said that her children are gone, so she's living alone in the mansion along with a few grandchildren. The butler greeted them and gave them lots of food. Bob happily snacked on the food. The granny told him that he can come and stay anytime he wants, so Bob was very surprised, not expecting the situation.
However, he has to go home now and return home as its almost night, and his parents are going to return. Saying his goodbye, the butler gave him a black credit card which he can use to buy anything he wants. Bob was even more shocked, he thought he has to be dreaming, or maybe he's simply in a random author's mind who made lots of unrealistic events for him.
Bob went home, happy and excited. His life has changed for the better. Instead of blaming and complaining about his life, he can now indulge and drown himself in endless pleasures instead. What an improvement!
Whenever one writes a story for the first time, it seems there's the creepy crawly feeling of cringe underneath the skin, one hears the phantom voices of readers saying "wow the worst writing I've ever seen!". But then they are all illusions of the mind, neither real nor important.
Here's another story:
Arriving home from work, a young girl named Tessia sat on a damaged couch with a sigh. Her full name is Kryteia Yuvi Czaragon, but her family and friends call her Kyssia. She has been working as a cashier for two years now as the breadwinner for her family of three, unable to go into highschool.
Her mother is sick and her dad spends most of their money in gambling, no wonder she's very tired at this way of life. Knowing that her mother won't be treated properly at this rate, she wants to change her life once and for all. However, he has no idea how to do that, but that doesn't mean she'll give up.
After taking a shower she resolved herself to find a way to improve her life today, and told herself she won't come back until she found a solution. Going outside, she wandered around the streets searching for something, yet she did now know what exactly is it she's searching.
All she knows is that she somehow needs to find a way to change her life and get her mother treated as soon as possible. Time went by and it's almost dawn, the sun is about to completely sink, yet she still haven't managed to find anything.
She haven't eaten anything ever since she went out of the house. She's very tired and stressed, unable to know what to do. Giving up, she walked towards her way home this evening, looking at everything with a blurry eyes.
Kyssia pressed the doorbell and went inside. She brought down her belongings and sat on a comfy modern couch. "Wait, modern couch? Without any damage? Which house is this!? What am I doing here?" She thought to herself.
Looking around, she found some tense and shocked faces of strangers staring at her. These people looked at each other, trying to ascertain if someone invited this woman here. Finally, she decided to break the uncomfortable silence "Uhhh am sorry, i must have been our of my mind, i thought this was my home, I'm going to leave now".
Just as when she's about to leave, Kyssia collapsed on the ground from fatigue. Waking up, she realized that she's in someone else's house, where she worried about her mom who's still sick in the house. A lady in her early thirties entered her room and brought her some food, saying that she can stay here for as long as she wants.
Kyssia told her about her situation and they talked to each other. She realized that the people around her are kind and she was lucky that they want to help her. Eventually, became friends with the people in that household and managed to get her mom treated in a good hospital.
Few years later, she's now a bank manager. She still couldn't believe how her entire life changed that night in a twist of fate. Every now and then, it has been her habit to open random door bells and goes into people's houses, befriending everyone there. After all "Life's about opening doors".
Hm I can't believe I'm really writing these lame short stories, fully knowing how realistic they are. But yeah it gets the point — that life is all about social interactions, career, money, and health is usually determined by one's relationship with the society and the people around them.
If one isn't born with a silver spoon or better, without any good talents, wealth, or skills, then Cooperation and Patience is their only way for them to reach the free and secure life they wanted.
It's those who know how to open and close doors that gets to live their life. Waiting for others to open or close their doors for us is the path of unnecessary suffering and stagnancy.
In the end, the unknown isn't our enemy, but our secret ally who's always been ready to help us if we simply have the openness and sincerity to ask for it.
"Just how long are you going to deal with everything on your own? The entire universe is ready to help you with anything if you simply ask."
"The corners of the room isn't four. There's the top and bottom. It's not eight either. There's also the outside of the room. Look again."
"The universe gives the chance, the humans gets the choice, and the consequences is left to unknown."