My self-esteem has completely shattered which is making me unmotivated for so many weeks. All remaining self-discipline has spilled on the floor as well. I gotta rebuild myself from scratch.
First let me make some theories.
The arrow that pierces a person's heart, from arrowhead to the nock, is structured like this:
Hmm I wish there's 7 of them, but I can't think of any other factor. Attraction at first sight, rapport as a continue signal, personality for increasing interest, emotional connection for familiarity, intimacy for warmth, and memories for an eternal connection.
I'm too nice of a person to pierce anyone's heart, much less a random person's heart. Unless I'm desperate, I will not aim on anyone aside from my target circles. Only a trained doctor must handle a person's heart.
The flashlight which determines how bright and interesting a person's life can be, and how much possibilities they can see. Every person's flashlight of life is structured like this:
Basically, a person's choice capacity (what can you do) is limited by his physical characteristics/genetics, exponentially increased by imagination (what can you possibly do), made realistic by his self-esteem, and increased likelihood with self-love and desires, with his entire fate determined by his desire to survive.
(Explanation for short-sighted people)
If you don't have the desire to survive, then you won't even have a life in the first place.
If you're super disabled, you'll have fewer things to do.
If your imagination is too restricted by society and anxiety, you'll have less choices to choose from.
If you don't believe in yourself, you're not going to last long enough to see the consequences of your choices.
If you don't love yourself nor care for your own higher desires (treating yourself), life will be darker, your choices won't be clear nor have personal certainty.
The opposite is true, I'm obliged to say the positive to rid the tiny negativity unintentionally deposited on your mind.
(Opposite good)
The higher your desire to survive, the faster and better you will grow and reach your true potential.
The higher your quality of genes, the better your health and you can use all your body parts to make more choices.
The more unrestricted your imagination, the higher your creativity and larger is the range of choices you can choose from.
The stronger your belief in yourself, the better your chances of being alive and healthy as time goes on, allowing you to see and rejoice at the consequences of your choices.
The more you love yourself, the higher your level of desires, your life will be brighter, have less regrets, and be satisfied/certain with your choices.
Currently, I do not love myself, I have little faith in myself, my imagination is poisoned by anxiety, my genes/health are decent, and the only good thing is that my desire to survive is still incredibly high.
That means, I don't care about myself or my personal desires, I only believe that I can do what I have always done, I have decent health with all limbs intact, yet I'm still growing faster than the average person despite all this.
Based on this information, I can overcome the current problems with 70% success within a few months. The only problem is my self-esteem, if I run out of battery, I'm good as dead, though my desire to survive states that I'll probably (work myself to death to) find a charger soon.
To think that the great tRanChor has been reduced to this sorry state. Welp, it's fine, he's almost Immortal and experiencing several days without motivation just means he's about to get another high level character development.
Don't worry, this bad tart can't pretend to be a sad human for long. He'll eventually get tired of this fiasco and start doing crazy stuff again without a second thought.
"It's not enough to trust your ideals to get you out of the bed — you must have something physical that you can look forward to for today, whether it be money, your crush, or food."
"When you realize that you can only make yourself move in front of last-minute deadlines, then you'll be walking on a tightrope."
"That moment when you procrastinated too fast that the only thing left to do is your work."