We usually do and move because of three things: because doing it makes us happy, not doing it makes us sad, or there's a goal we have to achieve.
But what if, we try to do things that doesn't make us happy, sad, or helps us achieve a goal? When we do things without looking for any emotion or thought to do it, what can possibly happen?
We can guess that nothing will happen, since it would seem like a meaningless action, one we only do for the sake of doing.
However, I believe in the opposite. When we do something without giving any thought, emotion, or reason, nothing much may happen on the outside, but something much more meaningful happens within us.
This type of doing that isn't a part of an impulse, plan, emotions, or calculations, is the one that brings peace from a different dimension into our lives. Others may call this "Being" or something, but I don't call it as anything. For this article, let's refer to it as "Neutrality".
Not everything in life needs to be given a label or a name, just like not everything memorable needs to be captured with a camera. This is one of those things. Let's just call it as "it" or any other pronoun we like.
Today, I find myself going to the park for no real reason, thoughts, emotions, or purpose. My mind kept asking me, "Why do you want to do this? What do you hope to gain from this? This doesn't help you in any way."
But then I answered "No reason, maybe I'll find the reason once I go there? I know I'll gain nothing from it, but I just feel like doing it."
Then on my way to the park, I captured random objects and stuff with my smartphone camera for no reason. Maybe it's because I want to sell some stock images, but deep inside I already know that my photo quality and photography skills are very awful that I keep getting rejected.
Why am I capturing random objects and pictures for no reason? I didn't bother to think nor answer that question. For me, that's just how it is and I'm not a fan of arguing with "what is".
I realized that we seek to do things that are either "stimulants" or "depressants". Stimulants for anything that will get us stimulated, hyped, and excited, like searching for ways to earn money, cooking tasty food, talking with an attractive person, or any form of instant gratification.
Stimulant-type activities speeds up the mind and body that it makes us feel like we're riding on a train, not on the inside, but on top of it. For us, these things makes us "feel alive" and gives our life "meaning". We like despite the few minutes of "happiness" we can derive from it. For us, those few minutes are necessary to keep us going.
Depressant-type activities are the things that we have to do, but don't really want to do. This includes things like doing annoying homeworks, cleaning the house, or doing house chores. For us, these depressants are "suffering" and "problems", something that we won't do if we're ever given the choice.
As we roll back and forth between stimulants and depressants, we lose sight of the reality, even forgetting who we are. I once thought that only drugs can be stimulants or depressants, but after reading so much webtoons, I don't think the same anymore.
High-quality level webtoons are those where every panel are full of meaning, story, and plot, unlike our lives. I often end up losing myself in the thrill of the story, I don't even know that 10 hours already passed. As they make me imagine different things and make me think that I have powers as well, they're almost no different than stimulant drugs.
Awful level webtoons like the ones I read in the morning where 90% of every chapter panel is full of lame fighting scenes, just like our lives. I often end up losing myself in scrolling to the end to see if there's anything meaningful or interesting in the end. As they make me feel a little depressed while reading it, they're almost no different than depressant drugs.
I was shocked to realize that my entire life is mostly just me swinging between stimulants and depressants. I wouldn't want to live the rest of my life that way. It seems that I have also mistaken "pleasure" and "money" for meaning.
"Meaning", just like any other elusive spiritual terms, are undefinable. They're something that cannot be find by finding, nor something that cannot be defined by thinking. When one is trying to find or define it, the more it's more difficult for them to find.
Meaning is something that comes naturally, without any hard work on our part. They're not defined by appearances or impact — it's something that is already within us, not outside us.
No wonder many spiritual people tries to meditate — the act of nothing allows them to become aware of the meaning within themselves.
Meaning can often be experienced in the most unexpected places, especially whenever we practice Neutrality — doing something for the sake of it, without any intention, goal, reason impulse, plans, or feelings.
A seemingly meaningless action that goes far beyond the simple act of thinking and feeling, this is the door that will allow us to befriend the unknown and become one with the truth.
"I know that Christmas is a holiday originally made for the sun god, but still — Merry Christmas everyone, may this day allow us to feel our interconnectedness with each other."
"You don't need any reason or permission to do something in a life that's yours to begin with."
"What happens deep within the water affects more than just the surface."