That moment when you feel miserable, then after pooping, you feel enlightened.
It's been a while since I talked to my self seriously like that. That was 8 hours worth of life lessons squeezed into my brain in just 15 minutes of pooping. How am I supposed to digest that much information?
Of course, using this article!
There's so many lessons so I'll just summarized it. I wonder if I would write can be called a summary though.
I've been reminded by myself that I'm craving too much things lately, seeking instant gratification like a drug addict, so my spirit guide gave me a thought experiment of what would happen if I were to get all my cravings.
Supposed that you did managed to befriend a real-life cute girl which you can pat, hug, and caress their hair anytime you want, it would definitely feel good, with millions of serotonin transferred on your brain.
It won't just feel good, it probably would feel heavenly, especially for someone who's been deprived of attention, affection, and care for their entire life. But then what's next? Would you really be satisfied? Would that be enough?
Yes, but only for a short moment. Ego is the one who enjoys craving and wanting something more than getting it. It derives its identity from the things it want and crave. So when you get something you want, you'll just want more and more until you feel empty and miserable again.
Feel complete? What a joke. A person is already complete in their own. A sapling is already as complete as a tree. It's the ego who can never feel complete, enough, and satisfied with anything in the world.
Material achievements, possessions, and accomplishments doesn't make a person feel any more complete, but makes them even more egoistic.
A sapling won't suddenly become a tree just because it's decorated like a tree or because it has a lot of nutrients. It would only become a tree when it's time to become a tree, so the sapling must learn to live as a sapling first.
If you think having more girls, achievements, and money would make you happy and free, think again. Because it won't. You're just digging yourself a deeper grave, taking a stronger drug, and indulging in realistic looking hallucinations.
Supposed that you suddenly become rich and have all the money you want, will you finally be satisfied? Of course, you'll be able to buy lots of more food, hire more people, and complete all your "to-buy" list, but will that be enough for you?
Yes, but only for a short moment. Money can't buy freedom, but freedom can definitely buy money. It would definitely be great to have your own house and suddenly abandon everyone else to live a life where no one knows about your existence.
There, you can be a famous YouTuber, a learner of the mystic arts, or shout as much as you want in your own soundproof room together with your "friends".
But then after all that, you're tired, you want to rest on your comfy deluxe bed. It would feel nice to finally have your own super bed where no one can distract you. You can even bring your "friends" to feel warm if you're not comfortable sleeping alone.
Days passed by and the silence feels deafening. You find yourself thinking about your nagging parents and your annoying sisters. You're getting bored of eating all slices of cheesy mushroom pizza overload everyday. It's that feeling again, the feeling of emptiness and desire for more and more.
That's right. It's what you have felt before. And it's the same again. Indeed, nothing happened, you simply covered the reality of life with some fancy illusions. You're again back to square one.
Supposed that-
No, that's enough. I've already understood what you mean. I'm well-aware of the futility of covering reality with fancy illusions. It seems, there's really no shortcut for a sapling to suddenly become a tree tomorrow.
So I really have to learn to live as a sapling huh. That means I can't pretend to become more or less than a sapling. I just have to be, not myself, but I am — to be I Am.
AAAAAAAAAAAA I can't really accept this. I don't like my family, my situation, or anything else. So in short you want me to make the most of what I have and live as I am, but I can't ducking do that, yet I have no choice but to ducking do that.
If I was given a better family and situation, then sure, I'll make the best out of my current present life. Other people got better stuff to work on, they were given legos and clays to build their life, while I get ducking sticks and stones? What the ducking hell am I supposed to do with this?
I'd rather bury these sticks and stones to the ground until I'm given better materials next time.
Ugh this is the worst. I finally figured out that progressing horizontally — doing what you want, getting achievements, and possessing more stuff is meaningless. But for me to ascend and progress my life vertically, they say I have to use these stupid sticks and stones to make stairs and reach Enlightenment.
If you don't understand anything because of all the metaphors, here you go. Basically, while I was trying to find the ultimate shortcut of life that will allow me to bypass the dirty sewer work of following society's sheepy plan and dealing with my sheepy family, I finally found the Scroll of Truth.
Unfortunately, the Scroll of Truth said:
"There's no shortcuts. Either live miserably, indulge in meaningless illusions, or cooperate with Time, Society, and your Family to progress vertically and ascend heavenward."
Now here's the context:
"Time is the main worker of your team, but he's slower than a sloth. Society is a derp looking monkey who keeps messing with you and gives you additional useless work for no reason. Family are the broken robots in the junkyard with missing parts who only listens to the monkey.
And you are their leader."
The main problem is that I don't want to deal with the monkey and broken robots, but I also don't want to live miserably and indulge in meaningless illusions. Unfortunately, the monkey and the broken robots keeps following and bothering me wherever I go, even when I try to completely ignore them.
The only solution here is to accept that there's no solution at all, that the only way to deal with it is through it. One needs to die first before they can truly live, which means they have to suffer or imagine the most painful thing and unlearn most things they know that doesn't help.
We have to chill down our mind and observe it especially whenever it says anything like "if I got this, I'll finally be happy", because it's not us who's wanting and craving, but the ego within our mind. Wanting and craving gives it power, but silence and stillness dissolves it in Being.
Indeed, inner peace can be found now. The solutions to our problem can be found now. But don't think about it. The thinking mind only sees the world in terms of the past and future, through the lens of Causality, but it cannot see the present moment.
So instead of thinking how and where in the present moment it can be found, let's slow down and feel our body, feel the world around us. By feeling instead of thinking, you get to avoid using concepts to describe around you — you begin to see the world for what it really is, the essence behind all things.
However, once you start analyzing things and attaching labels into them, you go inside your mind and stop seeing them. Notice how when you wake up, you can still remember the scenes on your dream, and they make sense. But when you try to describe your dream, adding labels to it, they become hazy and you can't remember them anymore.
This explains how a little child without prior knowledge has the highest learning rate — because they do not know the world, they see it for what it really is, without any labels, judgements, or resistance.
This ability to see and feel the world, can only happen in the state of Being. In this case, a little child is always in the state of Being until the time they experience their first taste of violence and abuse — the ego is born.
Upon the birth of the ego, it is tasked on creating and maintaining the illusions of the mind to protect itself from perceived harm, but little did it know, it's only protecting itself from life. One cannot escape pain, you can only ignore it or exaggerate it. The ego does nothing but exaggerate it too much and call it "protection from harm".
To die and be reborn again, means to completely disidentify from the ego, accepting that you never knew yourself and you'll never know yourself in the first place. The only way you can be yourself is through Being.
What is Being? To answer that, let's look at nature. Does the sapling know how to grow itself, add branches and leaves? It doesn't. It doesn't even know what branches and leaves are.
But how is it able to grow branches and leaves? Because of Being. The sapling is just Being a sapling. So naturally, it's going grow as part of Being and not doing.
The main difference between Being and Doing is that Being doesn't care about the future or the end result, for it's infinitely concerned about the present. It doesn't care about knowledge and concepts, nor does it feel the need to do anything, it's just be.
When a person is reborn, they abandon knowing and start Being. They can still think, but they don't think with their mind, they think with their entire Body, with their entire Being.
They are not scared of dying or feeling insignificant. Just like a sapling, a stone, or anything in nature, they only concern themselves with Being one with themselves, one with nature, and one with the universe.
"The ease of which you say something is directly proportional in how lightly they'll take it."
"Emotions and thoughts are like the wind, they simply pass by, unless someone doesn't want them to pass."
"They who know nothing and desires nothing is the closest to the light of Being."