On Monday, September 12, I experienced one of the most eye-opening and fun day I ever had. It was such a consistent pattern of coincidences that kept going better and better.
As a background, my parents lost thousands of money gambling them in an online app overnight yesterday.
So I woke up early in the morning determined to make a change in my life, go to school and get the stupid exam permit. I've tried getting the exam permit before, where I fell in line for over two hours only to reach cut off time and the school closed, not getting the permit at all.
Now that I'm going early, I'm definitely going to get that exam permit... Or so I thought. My mom said that I can only get money to pay the permit once my dad have arrived.
While idling my time away, I hunted some cute fella online and made the magic happen, but I was too panicky and nice that I accidentally said "as a friend" which ruined everything and brought the world to a cruel end, the doomsday has arrived.
30 minutes later, my dad arrived and I got the money, so I rushed to school, bringing along my heavy baggage of shame and regrets from my actions earlier.
However, the time is already past 8, which means I'm very late. There's already many students falling in line. Still, I must try to do everything to get the permit.
3 hours later...
Just when I was nearing the end of the line, with my goal near my sight, I reached the cut-off time again and the counters closed for lunch break. Unwavering in my resolve to get the exam permit, I settled for a lesser solution where I immediately went outside, took a rickshaw, and paid for the permit using some other payment channels.
With the time rushing on, I spent some more to ride another rickshaw to go home and eat some lunch. It was a success! I managed to complete something, but I have to quickly eat lunch and go to school before the class started.
With my phone barely even charged, I rushed to the school riding another rickshaw to prevent myself from being late. Much to my surprise, there were no one in the classroom. My other classmates probably have a different room and schedule, considering that it was exams.
I sat on an empty bench and wasted my time away reading webtoons, tired and weary, without even any preparations for the upcoming exam. Of course, I'm using the hacked internet I got online to get free data for my webtoons.
Huh? My internet suddenly disappeared? Hmm it must be just my ip address, let me see... W-wait, where are the arrows? The one near my data button?
I-it can't be! My sim got blocked! How could this be? I'm using an encrypted CloudFront method that's undetectable and invisible, how could my sim got blocked? I've been using this technique for so many weeks without getting blocked? Why the hell did I get blocked now?
Well, duck, no point worrying about it now. I have to prepare for my exams, so I reached out to my classmates online with a suspicious fake account and got some information. Turns out that the class would start an hour later!
Yikes, I should have walked towards the school instead of taking the rickshaw. I spent the remaining time relentlessly preparing for the exams using my phone, but our class is now about to start, so I went to the room again.
Finally, the exam is about to start. I have prepared everything for this moment. I don't have any permit, but hopefully the receipt would be enough. I am already prepared to be humiliated and executed in front of everyone.
"The exams will start tomorrow, there are no exams today." said the teacher.
My mind went blank. What the duck just happened? What the duck did she just say? Am I supposed to be relieved? That means I will ducking have to go on another traumatic falling in line incident tomorrow to get the permit.
We had a recitation instead, and for the first time, I raised my hand, completely confident of the answer. However, the lightning decided to strike me again.
"Nope, wrong answer", the last words I heard before my mind fell into a temporary (5-second) haze and hopelessness. I haven't felt more dead than before. This is the most fun day of my life, I thought to myself.
However, the fun is just beginning.
After classes, I decided to follow my classmates and pass my artworks to the teacher, but they decided to go home instead, leaving me in the dark.
I'm not surprised anymore, I have already gotten used to this. I hunted some information online using my fake account again and realized that I can still pass it tomorrow. What a relief.
Seeing one of my classmates fall in line to get the permit. I tried falling in line again to get the permit.
It's great, the line is moving faster than usual, and there's not much people than before. I'm definitely going to get the permit this time.
I can't believe I managed to reach this far! Behold, the exam permit is already within my reach! Just a few people more, just few more and I'll finally get it!
Ugh my phone's battery is dying, I can't use my phone anymore until I charge it back home. From this moment onwards, I have to manually wait for the line until it's my turn. It won't be long anyway.
OMG YES!! I'm finally next in line, the next person who will go to the counter and get the permit! Everything is going smoother than expected. Looks like all my efforts were not in vain. I won't have to wake up early tomorrow and get the permit after I get it this time.
Huh? The other counter has suddenly closed? Sheep. It's already 5 PM, it's their cutoff time! How did that girl managed to waltz in and bypass the line then get what she wants just a millisecond before the counter closed?! Wtf? This ain't the Matrix or something.
It's okay, there's still one more counter left. Once that boy finishes, then I'll be the next in line to get my permit hehehe. Finally! My long-awaited destiny has arrived!
W-wait w-what is happening!? Why did the counter placed the closed sign? Why are they closing the blinds? NOOOOOOOOOO! I'm still here, please, please, please, just give me a chance. Take one more person! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Well duck. Everyone around who's falling in line behind me has already left. They have accepted the gravity of the situation and went home. Two hours has already passed. Hahaha, Hahahahha, AHHAHAHAHAHAHA
COULDN'T THIS DAY GET ANY FUNNIER THAN THIS?! IT'S BEEN SUCH A LONG TIME WHERE I FELT THIS MUCH FUN! FORTUNATELY, THE DAY HAVEN'T ENDED, THERE ARE PLENTY OF TIME LEFT.
I happily walked home with a very happy smile on my face. How could I not be happy, when so much fun things happened to me in just a day?
Ooh looks like my mom is still playing that gambling game. Just yesterday, she had about 6000 in-game balance which is equivalent to $120, enough to buy dozens of whole pizzas. This morning, she had 600 in-game balance, and now she only have 300 in-game balance. Lmao looks like my mom is having lots of fun like me.
Relieved, I took a relaxing piss on the bathroom. Huh? Why is my butt hurting? The pain is increasing... AAAAAAAAAAAAAA IT DUCKING HURTS! MY BUTT DUCKING HURTS! WHAT THE DUCK IS HAPPENING? HEAL! HEAL!! HEALLL!!!
UGH I CAN'T DUCKING HEAL, I'M TOO PANICKY. AAAAAAA LET'S RELAX AND HEAL PROPERLY. Heal.
[Heal] activated.
[Applying natural painkillers...]
[Applying time-space rejuvenation...]
[Relaxing muscles...]
[Reducing bladder pressure...]
(3 seconds later)
Haa.... Ha.. Ha. It's finally over. Looks like my bladder got too full that my relaxed and free flowing piss has its piss canal overwhelmed with too much pressure which caused my butt to hurt. It's okay, this day isn't over yet.
This day was so crazy and fun, it would be a great loss if we didn't write anything about it. Let's do some stretching first though.
*Stretches arms
Ahh, this feels so good, as if my entire body is being pulled and stretched apart like a bow. W-wait, what did I just say?!
AAAAAAAAAAAA MY BACK DUCKING HURTS! MY BACK LIGAMENTS FEEL LIKE IT'S STRAINED AND BROKEN! AAAAAAAAAAA!!! Heal.
[Heal] activated.
[Applying natural painkillers...]
[Applying time-space rejuvenation...]
[Relaxing joint strains...]
[Realigning back ligaments...]
(3 seconds later)
Oh gosh, if not for my [Heal] ability, I would have literally died ten million times already. Ducking hell. My day must look like a comedy show right now. What's next? Death? Organ failure? Tornado? Bring it on m8. Let's have some more fun.
"The worst form of torture is one where a person holds to a glimmer of hope that never comes, while experiencing every type of pain at the same time."
"Learn to dance in the acid rain."
"Behold, I am the luckiest person in the world."