Flattery

I'm extremely shocked to know that my genuine although childish compliments are treated as suspicious flattery with ulterior motives.

Tags: Observations, Short, Categorical, New Concepts, Targeting

 
It seems that people take flattery with a wide range of possible reactions, some people suddenly becoming happy and vulnerable, while some others becoming more suspicious and guarded.

Therefore, flattery or giving compliments is actually a big deal that can greatly impact the first impressions of other people to us. It's a dangerous double-edged blade that can either smoothen the conversation or increase the social distance from each other.

Rather than creating a mathematical formula to determine whether some people are positively affected by flattery or not, it would be way more practical and easier if we statistically and psychologically categorized people based on their beliefs about flattery.

Suppose we have three types of people, the simple ones who takes compliments happily and reciprocates, the suspicious ones who takes compliments as flattery with ulterior motives, and those who take compliments with a grain of salt.

Let's guess the possible profile of these different types of people.

 

Positively Influenced

Humans who are happy with compliments and doesn't take it negatively would probably look like, with varying correlations:

• Wearing attention-heavy fashion and clothing
• Simple and friendly looking people
• Your trusted friends and buddies
• Your family members
• Achievement-oriented workaholics
• Dedicated and passionate hobbyists
• Children and teenagers
• Those who grew with a happy childhood
• Emotionally chaotically intense humans
• Poor and unfortunate people
• Those who give weird looking peculiar vibe
• If the flatterer looks like a child, very emotional, or uses a sincere tone of voice

Hmmm so the target and object of compliment is also an important factor whether they would be suspicious or not.

 

Negatively Influenced

Humans who take compliments with a suspicious look and guarded body language would probably look like:

• Logically chaotic humans
• Wearing reserved or traditional clothing
• Random strangers on the street
• Those who grew with a painful childhood
• Isolated and cold-eyed people
• Rich and business-oriented people
• The flatterer looks very suspicious
• Gives a semi-professional vibe
• Unexpected compliments from nowhere
• Calls people as network more often than calling them friends

 

Not Influenced

Humans who take compliments with a grain of salt and not as something completely true or fake would probably look like:

• Logically orderly humans/robots
• Wearing formal business outfit
• High level enlightened people
• Compassionate and sincere people
• Has a gentle smile on their face
• Professionals who don't care about money
• Calls people as "relationships" more often than friends

Bottom Line

Giving compliments, no matter how sincere you are, won't always be looked favorably by other people. There are some who enjoy it, others who scorn it, while there are those who doesn't care about it.

Therefore, it's important that we remain careful when giving compliments and only hand them out whenever necessary. Complimenting people at first sight without further interaction is good, but complimenting them as a conversation starter isn't always a great idea.

For best results, let's always take into account people's circumstances and psychological profile so we can predict whether they'll like, hate, or ignore the compliment we give them.

While it's nice to be ourselves, we can't risk a bad first impression by showering others with compliments no matter how genuine our intentions are.

After all, compliments are best when given accurately, sincerely, and sparingly.

---

"Your average observational article, nothing to see here."

"Compliments are like sugar, they're not fit for some foods, and too much of it doesn't taste good."

"Flattery only makes me wonder what the flatterer really wants." ~ Some wise old professional person who replied to me