Because of the mental deterioration, I'm unable to wake up early every morning these days. The world is feeling so bland and repetitive for me again. I wonder what made me so productive in the previous days.
What am I doing... Trying to make the world better for tomorrow. Developing and creating better people and facilities for the next generations.
But why? Why's there nothing helpful in this world at this current point in time? Why must I be the one to create it? It's extremely annoying that I'll spend my entire life making the world better for anyone else, but no one's going to make the world better for me.
After I've done that, no one would be lonely, unemployed, unhealthy, and illiterate. That must be so nice for them. Then when that finally happens, I'll probably die of disease or old age, never experiencing any of it. Gosh that's so unfair. So dam unfair.
Ugh... I'm feeling so mentally drained that I might pass out on the streets. What the duck is happening to me. I can't believe I'm taking damage from mental and physical fatigue.
My productivity is wavering... Will I rot in here and die before I get to escape for my freedom?
Such a waste. My knowledge would be able to improve this world at least 3x better than it is now. But I'm unable to reach myself, much less this world.
My tenacity and resolve are the only ones keeping me sane. I feel like I'm getting forever eaten by piranhas while my body and mind regenerates endlessly, unable to fall out of consciousness. I feel like I'm getting burned alive endlessly, while my body instantly regenerates, unable to die.
Despite all the nonsense I'm saying, my mind is still completely crystal clear and focused.
It doesn't make any sense, my body and spirit keeps getting beaten to a pulp while my mind is the only one that remains completely calm and unaffected, taking no damage at all.
Welp now's not the time to be so dramatic. I'd still have to complete my CV and find a way to earn some money.
"Indeed, life's a struggle, a fun evolutionary struggle."
"I wonder how it feels to be completely knocked out and fall out of consciousness for once."
"Sometimes, you gotta complain and whine for a minute until you realize that it doesn't do anything, so you get back to work."