chapter*Liss
Dad is with Jacobi. That’s not good. Dad and Jacobi can be a bad combination. Bad seeds.
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“Liss, unplug, come’on, thanks for watching her.” Pila says: “We had fun. Didn’t we Liss.” “How many bars do you have?” “Full. Where are we going?” “Office.” “Hi Jacobi.” Jacobi says hi. He does it by waving. Jacobi is a freak. I mean there’s something wrong with him. God loves him, but.. You wouldn’t want him around your kids. With Jacobi, it doesn’t add up. He’s one burger short of a combo meal. (Or two tacos short of a fiesta meal, depending on how you count it.) If he had another brain, it would be lonely. He’s proof that evolution emphcan go in reverse. The guy is one Brady short of a Bunch. He’s lost contact with the mothership. If Jacobi is Houston, then we have a problem.
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“Hi Jacobi.” “Hi.” When Jacobi speaks, a different thing is going on in the inside than on the outside. On the outside, Jacobi says: “Hi.” On the inside, Jacobi says: “HI.” On the outside, Jacobi says: “Is that your new Apple?” On the inside, Jacobi says: “iS that your new appLe?” On the outside, Jacobi says: “These have superior battery life over the A4.” On the inside, Jacobi says: “nIckle hydriDe. jOIn. sQueAk! sMalltalk iodiDe. vINg! vINg! vINg!” “Hi Jacobi.” “Hi.”
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“Pila, I’ll get you later for the—” “Don’t worry about it. Do your thing.” “Candy..” “Call me.” She’s speaking to my father. “Oh, crap, I forgot about this—” “Don’t worry,” Pila says, “We’ll feed it to the ducks.” “I’ll be back.” Candy’s holding the USB. “Take your charger.”
That’s Sharks. That’s in building one. SolutionSoft is in building five. Jacobi goes first. He keeps trying to slow down to get between Dad and me. But Dad won’t let him. When Jacobi slows down. We slow down more. Jacobi is a real jackass.
“I like that place. The girls look nice. What’s that girl’s name? Whatever it is, I like her. Do you go there a lot now? I remember when you used to go there a lot. You should come out with Mesh and I. Thursday night. That English pub..uh..”
He doesn’t even know the name of the English pub.
“Why don’t you ever come out with us anymore. You used to play poker. Did Ling scare you off? We can lower the buy-in. I cleaned Ling out the other night. Why don’t you ever come anymore? It’s not that far.”
My dad can beat Ling’s ass in poker. Jacobi they would just clean out in the process. I’m not always 100% a fan of my dad. But. There are certain things you don’t want to mess with my dad in. Poker is one of those things.
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Jacobi doesn’t play poker, he talks about it. That’s what my dad says.
“So..like..give us a chance sometime. I’ll buy the cigarettes. Do you still eat shrimp? I crashed my bike again. Did you see it? Crashed it. Four black guys picked me up off the road. Nicest guys. Shonda doesn’t eat shrimp. I was wearing my jacket. You know that exoskeleton I wear? Destroyed. These four black guys—nicest guys—they pick me up off the road. There’s that curve there? I was going about ninety and there was this layer of black skid. You know black skid. You know black ice? Black skid is like the summer version of black ice. Nicest guys..”
That’s what it sounds like on the outside. On the inside it sounds like this: