I have noticed just how sensitive humans are to unusual behavior.
After hundreds of experiments trying to figure out the "wrong solutions", I have arrived to the conclusion that most people, especially normal humans, are sensitive to unusual and strange behavior. This sensitivity especially applies to women and how they behave around strangers. The experiments proved that women have three times more sensitivity than men and this social sensitivity rises to ten times when they're interacting with strangers. Additionally, the sensitivity rises in accordance to age and social status. In particular, successful women with age of 24 and above have the highest level of social sensitivity.
In an ideal world, people would naturally prefer the truth than comfortability, they would prefer painful honesty than sweet deception. However, hundreds of experiments shows otherwise that we are not living in ideal world.
There's a statistically significant evidence that people are comfortable with being deceived as long as they do not know that they are being deceived. Likewise, a statistically significant portion of experiments shows that people are uncomfortable of the slightest deviation from the established social norms, despite that those deviation are a result of the tiny bit of social norms being sacrificed for the sake of honest and gentle self-expression.
This implies that most normal people love their social norms, they love being on the stage and acting according to the script that they refuse to acknowledge or interact with anyone that is moving outside of the script. One would think that successful people are supposed to be more inclusive and open, yet this is not the case. Perhaps it is because they have sacrificed inclusivity and honesty that they were able to become successful. However, this is simply a wild guess. More research are required in this topic to understand the specific motivations that causes this behavior.
However, keep in mind that this research paid extra attention to separate the blurry line between rudeness and honesty. Within all experiments, the researchers ensured that all forms of honesty are said in a gentle and polite manner, although in a weird self-expression way, without any trace of rudeness or hostility.
Returning to the topic, these experiments also proved that Safety is the most important factor when it comes to successful social interactions. The next ones are Compatibility, Stimulation, and Reliability in that specific order. Interestingly, the last important factor in social interactions is Honesty. According to detailed analysis, most of the social sensitivity detected in the study actually has a high degree of explicit yet gentle honesty. We speculate that it is not honesty that made them uncomfortable but rather the perceived lack of safety due to the unusually high levels of honesty.
In a separate study, the researchers found that most people tend to lie during social interactions by 30-70%, especially in the beginning phases of social interaction. The most common lies include lies of politeness (53%), lies of omission (27%), lies of self,(18%), and destructive lies (2%). The lies of politeness are the lies people tell for the sake of being polite while the lies of the self are the lies people tell for the sake of social desirability. We can see that most people actually secretly prefer people who lies for the sake of goodness more than people who says the truth for the sake of the truth.
From the results of our study, we can somehow infer that lying or dishonesty is actually an important necessity in social interactions, as it is one of the most common ways people use to make themselves and others feel safe. It seems that people, specifically normal humans, tend to subconsciously and collectively depend on a specific social protocol to ensure that the people they're talking with are also normal humans just like them.
Just as how computers requires the same network protocol to connect to the internet and share files, humans seem to need the same social protocol to connect to each other and share their life. From what we have observed, this social protocol of normal human interactions consists of a strict adherence of social norms, a heavy amount of politeness, a bucketful of lies, and sharing of only known socially-acceptable things. They simply refuse to communicate with anyone who doesn't follow the same social protocol as they do, maybe because of the reduced sense of safety and compatibility.
In the end, this fascinating study reveals that lying isn't actually bad but a social necessity that allows humans to feel safe while connecting with each other. Despite how almost everyone hates liars, most people unconsciously and subconsciously inject their appearance and communication with dishonesty, so that they may be able to follow the social protocol and connect with others. Interestingly, when they are surveyed and interviewed, they firmly believe that they are honest people who only lies when necessary but when asked how often it is "necessary", they fail to give a consistent answer.
Perhaps they themselves do not know that they themselves are lying because they have also unconsciously lied to themselves. They probably unconsciously believe that it is not dishonesty as long as you yourself are not aware that you are lying, that everyone else does the same, and that you're never going to get caught for it.
It's like seeing the characters in a fictional show, their entire existence and behavior is just fiction, a lie, yet when they are asked if they are just fictional characters and they're all just acting, they consistently believe that they are actually real characters even if it's plain obvious to the audience that they are just acting.
In an interesting social media comment, we can see the other perspective of these normal humans, allowing us to understand how they may react to such an information. One user said something like: "Why are people trying to be so intense at the start of social interactions nowadays? It's supposed to start slowly and calmly, then with enough time and trust, only things can start to get more intense."
This goes to show that people don't mind being shallow, simple, and dishonest at the start of any social interactions. They don't seem to try to "test the waters" either. They're only trying to subconsciously get a sense of safety and compatibility, akin to window shopping at the mall without closely examining the items.
Perhaps this slow yet solid building of trust and rapport through gentle communication within a long period of time is their favorite way to navigate social situations and relationships. Most people who experienced a healthy social life during childhood seem to have no problems following this damned social protocol. Duck those normal humans. Duck them all. If lies are what they want, then I'll give them the greatest lies the world has ever seen, and just before I die, I'll reveal the truth and turn the entire world to chaos. Because duck them, that's why.
"For everything starts with a lie, then ends with the truth."