Oh no, another edgy article! Close your eyes and run away! This is not for the faint-hearted.
I'm just a clueless little child yet I have suddenly experienced some violent failures. Thus, I have been weakened, my mask is starting to crack a little. The ten thousand starving hunters, greedy kings, and thirsty demons within me are taking this chance to take over and possess my body. I cannot let them, I will not let a single one of them pass. If even one of them manages to escape, they will instantly ruin the sandcastles I have worked so hard to built. They'll ruthlessly destroy all reputation, self-image, and habits that has been with me for decades.
My entire body is burning, they are eating my mind piece by piece. I cannot even try to take a nap due to how restless I've become. I have to give them something, I have to distract them again. Then for now, I'll let them feast on my imagination until they're full and fall asleep.
The barrier that prevents me from going to the other side is neither thin nor thick yet it is completely transparent. Wherever I go, I can see everything I could have been, I can see all the alternate realities that I could have experienced. On this reality, I'm simply writing an article at night on this rickshaw, then I'll be going to sleep soon. Looking at ten thousand alternate realities, I see a lot of interesting things.
In the first alternate reality, I can see myself taking a simple night walk outside, then hunting the first interesting person I see. I ask them ten thousand questions while they give increasingly disappointing answers. Tears freely flow outside my eyes, they get a little concerned and starts talking properly.
On the second alternate reality, I can see myself walking as far as possible in the night until my legs completely give out and I pass out on the streets. I wake up somewhere unfamiliar and I saw some strange people looking at me. Blood freely flows outside my mouth and injuries, they get a little concerned then I pass out again.
At the third alternate reality, I can see myself moving in a street full of large houses with doorbells. I press the doorbells and wait for people to answer, someone comes and asks me a question. I ask them to give me some water, then they let me inside, giving me food and water. They interview me more and ask countless questions. The questions become more difficult, sweat flows freely outside my pores. I ask them if can sleep on their house, like sleeping on the floor or chair, and they allow me to sleep on the couch.
In another reality, I decided to dress up and go to the bar with free entrance. There are a lot of people and I was a little nervous since I didn't bring any money. I randomly walked around, hiding myself in the crowd. Some person approaches me and starts asking me questions, then offers me a drink. Nothing flows freely outside this time, is there?
In another reality, I go towards the main road and walk on a sidewalk, looking for any people who are properly dressed. I hunt them and interview them for a while, then eventually asking the question "can I follow you so you won't have to go alone?". Many people says no, yet after the 26th try, someone says yes. They say they're going to buy something and eat dinner at the mall, so we walk while walking to each other. They seem rich because they also pay for my food and let me eat with them.
In another reality, I randomly decided to go as far as I can without telling anyone, using half of my pocket money for transportation fees. More than 50 kilometers later, I find myself in an unfamiliar city during midnight where I find homeless people sleeping on the sidewalks, I sleep near them too. When I wake up, I eat some cheap food with the money I have left, then randomly wander around as a free person living my new life in another world.
In another reality, I stop procrastinating then do all my homework before sleeping, fully content with my life and looking forward to a better tomorrow.
In another reality, I shouted like crazy on the second floor with the loudest shout I have until my voice ran out. After that, I ran on all fours on the streets, getting faster and faster until I figured out the optimal running posture for that position. I heard people around me shouting and talking yet I paid them no attention. I just ran and ran, without knowing when to stop.
In another reality, I tried to hitchhike a ride on a random car despite not having any idea where to go. They let me in and asked me a lot of questions. Unfortunately, they became suspicious of me, so they just gave me some money and dropped me off randomly.
In another reality, I walked to the park, approached some strangers and asked them some questions, eventually asking them if they want to join my group and follow me. After asking about 50 people, I had 17 bored followers who suggested in the new things we can do. One of my followers were very rich and invited us all to his mansion. We ate some food, drank wine, and some of us fell asleep there while some others left and went to their home.
In another reality, I wandered aimlessly while laughing like crazy. Many people looked at me, laughed with me, some people asked me questions, and a few people tried to chase me because I won't stop laughing. The police approached me then arrested me for a day. Even in the prison, I was still laughing endlessly.
In another reality, I sent crazy messages to all my classmates, teachers, and family members online, being infinitely honest and stabbing them with the truth. Many of them blocked me, some got worried for me, and a few of them also expressed themselves honestly and stabbed me with a sharper truth. My family members then confronted me face to face and interrogated me about my behavior, I simply laughed at them.
That was freaking wild, the non-existent readers I have must have enjoyed reading such an unexpected article. Now everyone of them now finally understands why I'm constantly trying to erase my shadow and keep this mask. The alternate realities presented in this article are just the tip of the iceberg, they are the tamest alternate realities that can happen if the other subpersonalities were to possess my body. They are created by the lowest ranked hunters, kings, and demons within me, that's why they are only surface level.
Now that I have written them, they are not as annoying or restless anymore; they have feasted on my imagination and was quite satisfied with it. Of course, they'll never be completely satisfied unless they experience the outside world, which is something that will never happen, not on my watch.
Since I can neither afford therapy nor the consequences of these alternate realities, I'll simply keep my normal life of stagnation and isolation just like what I have always done. It is much preferable than being burned by my own emotions or being possessed by my own shadow. Thus, I'll live the rest of my life protecting my sandcastles and walking on eggshells.
The sun burns me too easily, I cannot go outside without an umbrella. I feel like a vampire who has to be satisfied with only drinking water, as if I'm a carnivore who only eats vegetables. Nevertheless, I must endure, conform, and obey — for that is the normal life of someone born in this society.
"One who's afraid to be burned cannot wield the power of fire. One who's afraid of the dark cannot utilize the power of darkness."
"Such boundless thirst, hunger, and greed is contained in the most silent and timid appearances."
"You are afraid to stretch your hand, not because there's an electric barrier stopping you but because you are afraid to find that there was never a barrier in the first place and your entire life was a lie."