Some random clouds of thought that passed through my mind.
Tags: Personal, Random, Chaotic, Observations, Self-Improvement, Analysis, World-building
There's a person in this world whose hearing is extremely weak, whose social skills are low, and the only thing high about him is his Apathy. Does this person even deserve to be happy? Does this person deserve to experience attraction? Does this person deserve to have any friends?
He too, wants to know the answer.
Presenting, my another personality game-like stats!
Name: tRanChor
Title(s):
Almost-Deaf Basement Dweller
Int +10
Cha -10
Fastfood Leftover Hunter
Dex +10
Cha -10
Seer of the Evening Twilight
Int +70
Wis +70
Traits:
Demonic SS+
Freedom +1000
Cha +300
Def +300
Strength +200
Other stats +10
Sage S+
Wis +120
Int +50
Restrained -SS
Freedom -1000
Cha -300
Def -200
Strength -100
Apathy -A
Cha -50
Strength -50
Weak-willed -B
Strength -50
Skills:
Avoid - Immediately escape from danger
Self-Heal - Quickly heal low-level injuries
Analyze - Comprehend the current situation
Transcend - Unchain oneself for a moment, only used for emergencies
A person gifted with a powerful spirit, mind, and body, yet refuses to do anything that would make direct progress in his life. Desperate to live a normal life, he restrained most of his abilities and hid it from others. Unfortunately, even fate itself forbids him from living a normal life.
As if rebelling against fate, he allowed himself to helplessly float on the river of fate without doing anything, except counting the stars that appear every night.
The month of August started by waking up early at 5:30 in the morning without an alarm. Determined to finally make changes in his life, he tried to exercise and do a hundred pushups, only to feel the debilitating muscle pain on both his upper and lower body.
He sat and thought to himself. "Hmmm... mild shoulder pain, moderate chest pain, moderate hip muscle pain, mild breathing difficulty, severe hearing loss, and critical emotional pain. I guess this is all of them. What a great way to start the month."
Standing up, he stretched his arms and legs, while enjoying mini firecracker sounds that comes from it. Suddenly, the memories from yesterday came back to haunt him, making him scream in agony without making a sound. "That ducking hurts", he thought to himself, as if a giant stake pierced his chest.
There is a game in which there's no exact winning conditions. All paths leads to the same destination, yet every path is completely different, but all them are filled with uncertainty and suffering.
In this game, there is no clear way not to make mistakes. There is exact way not to mess up. Everyone who plays this game are bound to suffer and make mistakes. These mistakes may bear fruit and lead to something better, but they may also do nothing.
Some say that participating in this game can lead to your wishes getting fulfilled. Some say that playing this game will make someone very happy and grateful. While there are others who say that this game doesn't do anything at all.
A mysterious game, indeed. Will you play or not? It's not like you have a choice anyway, everyone has to play this game no matter what. The only thing you can change is how you would play this game.
For me, it's an extremely sheepy game that's a complete waste of my time. Either do nothing or something, you'll still suffer so why bother to do anything? If you can't do one thing, someone else will do it anyway, so why bother to do it?
Personally, I hate this game, I hate it so much that I won't do anything about it and disappoint everyone who expects me to do something. I am not going to play anyone's stupid game. Let them do whatever they want, I'll just observe and analyze from the sidelines.
It's a completely stupid, annoying, and unfair game. Everyone has different starting points and no rules are ever clear. What's enjoyable about this game? I've tried everything and there's not a single enjoyable nor satisfying thing about it.
Those who made this game are either very stupid or doesn't know anything except to waste time. They say that the ones who planned and made this game are actually the Godlike beings who is perfect in every way.
Then if they're so perfect and cool, how can they make such a sheepy game like this? It is so extremely inefficient. A game where almost everything is allowed? A free unmoderated open-world game? These beings probably find entertainment in chaos.
Every player in this game can do everything they want, including doing nothing. I may try as hard as I can, but I'll never find any reason that makes this game even a little bit good.
The only possibility that can make this game have any sense, is when those who made this game - the creators, doesn't care about time nor the choices everyone will make.
They must be thinking that they can somehow make this game last to eternity, so that the evolution and growth mechanic placed in the game will automatically push the players forward and make them complete the game successfully despite their stupid choices.
If that's really the case, then every stupid and sheepy thing we are doing is only delaying the great things we are about to do. We are only doing a disservice to ourselves by insisting on our stupid decisions or doing nothing at all.
Going by this logic, this means that willingly making stupid decisions is similar to doing self-harm but on a lesser degree.
We are no match against eternity especially with the evolution mechanic intact. It's physically impossible for someone to consistently make stupid decisions for all eternity.
If that's not the case, then the developers who made this game must have placed some invisible guides and helpers that automatically helps the players make good choices and complete the game successfully.
They must have lots of trust that either the helpers, guides, or the players themselves would be able to complete this stupid game they made.
Good grief, even if those were true, I still hate this game. Duck this game. I can't believe that I am forced to play and complete this game for all eternity.
Hmmm they're probably not forcing people to play this game for all eternity, because if they did that, then the open world, unlimited choices mechanic that is the heart of the game would lose its integrity. This game would become a torture chamber instead of a real game.
Therefore, this seemingly annoying game that feels like we're forced to complete at first is actually just a free trial period that we can cancel anytime.
Though this begs the question: if we willingly quit and cancel this game, what else is there do? Nothing probably. We'll probably become one with nothingness and our existence would be no more.
Becoming completely nothing sounds even more terrifying than being awful at this game. Though it's not really that terrifying since you won't feel anything once you are nothing.
However, I believe that if most people chooses to be "nothing", then that would be the ultimate proof that the game they have developed is awfully sheep, unless they're trying to make a selection process of some kind.
Although I hate this game to the bone, I don't want to be nothing. I am alive here, right now, because I at least, want to be something, and this game is my only hope of becoming that something.
Though what is that "something" I want to become? I'd like to be a teacher, writer, and king. In short, I want to be ME.
Therefore if I really want to reach my goal, then I must participate in this game no matter how much I hate it. Still, I don't really like doing things I hate, so first I must play this game in a way that will allow me to like it and enjoy it more.
And how would that be? We both already already know the answer to that question.
Unfortunately, knowing doesn't immediately lead to doing or caring. I won't play this game unless I'm completely sure that I will be able to become that something.
"Random articles and surprises are one integral aspect of life."
"It's not a matter of whether I deserve something or not, because I'm still going to get it."
"Everything happens for no reason. It's our privilege to create a reason for it."