Trying to listen to the universe for the second time...
Tags: Personal, Universalysis, Questions, Medium size, Problem-solving, Self-improvement, Psychological, Advanced Concepts
In just one day, I lost my favorite cap. It was blown by the wind while I'm wearing it in an open-air vehicle. That cap is the last thing I have from the set of things I bought few months ago: umbrella, shoulder bag, face towel, and cap.
Guess the stuff I bought are gone. My mom placed my umbrella on the roof for it to dry, only for it to disappear. My face towel got lost in the void already few weeks ago. I managed to find it but it disappeared again.
Then my cool shoulder bag which I thought was sturdy is now completely broken apart, unable to withstand carrying the folded umbrella inside it.
No one's washing my clothes anymore, and my sister suddenly got a new job as a dishwasher, so that means she would be washing clothes even less frequently. All my clothes are dirty and a lot of them are missing, so I have to wash them all by myself.
Now I have nothing, except for a few cents of money my parents gave me several months ago.
Once again, I am back at square one.
Clearly, the universe is telling me that whatever I'm doing, it doesn't work. It seems that I have spent so much of my time trying to catch the wind, only to get nothing.
There are several new questions in my mind that are bugging me right now. These questions are more specific than before and it makes my stomach hurt just by trying to think about it. Still, I am not one to avoid a question, no matter how personal or uncomfortable it may seem.
Here are the questions:
Why do I not care about other people round me? Why do I simply let them be?*
If money can't buy neither freedom nor happiness, what can?
Is knowledge enough without wisdom, the ability to use knowledge? Is wisdom enough without willpower, the ability to decide? Is willpower enough without compassion, the ability to care? Supposed that you have all four, will they be truly enough? Can a person be truly complete?
Difficult questions, they made my stomach hurt thrice, but now that I have written them, their power over me is no more.
Let's answer them to the best of our ability.
I do not care about those who have hurt me, unknowingly or knowingly, I don't care about those who doesn't care about me including those who care but doesn't know how to properly show it.
Basically speaking, I don't care about everyone or anyone who has hurt me or aren't useful to me in any way. All possibilities considered, this means I only care about extremely few people including myself.
Hmm how selfish of a person I am. If I don't care about something, then I refuse to interact nor pay attention to any of it. By only caring about those who care about me and knows how to properly show it, I am effectively ignoring 99.9% of the world around me.
Yikes, can this be even called life? It's not my fault that I didn't care, it's my decision that I don't care. I don't even consider it as a mistake I should regret or change.
However, this doesn't mean I'm a completely antisocial and isolated person who refuses to live within a society. I am always looking for opportunities to care, always looking for something or someone that will either care about me or be useful to me.
To force myself to care is out of the question considering how stubborn my personality is. The only way I'll learn to care and pay attention to everyone and everything around me is when I have finally understood their purpose and importance.
And the only way I'll be able to understood their importance is when my eyes have been cleared enough not to be blinded by neither rage nor fear.
Oh when will that be? Rage has corrupted my right eye and fear has completely closed my left eye, making me unable to open it. I can only see the entire world painted in red, full of blood and grudges.
I'm only able to see clearly when I close both of my eyes, which works for writing articles like these but not for making real-life decisions.
That means if I'll have to force myself to make a proper decision with my eyes open, I'll have to first close my eyes for a very long time to memorize the mental images of reality and make a plan, then open my eyes, trying my best to stick to the original plan despite what I see.
I have read a quote written in the ebook "Science of Human Hacking" which says "If you believe that money will buy you freedom, you'll never have it", said by someone that goes with the name of Henry Ford or something.
That quote really made me contemplate a lot, considering that only creative entrepreneurs are able to magically conjure lots of money out of nothing but their hands and ideas.
It's true. If I were to magically have 1 billion right now, what would I do with it? Store it in a bank account without knowing the storage limits for first time bank opener and the tax alarms for excessive money deposit?
Suddenly buy all expensive stuff on ecommerce, alerting the authorities? Or store it under the bed only to be eaten by wood ants while we contemplate what to do with it?
I think that the best way to deal with it is to immediately hire a lawyer of a reputable law firm and at least three experienced financial advisors, or something like that.
But do I know how to hire someone except posting a sign outside the house? Do I know how to contact an experienced law firm? How would I know how to perform a background check to see if those financial advisors I hired would be really trustworthy?
I have no ducking idea. My magical one billion might as well be announced to the entire city in just a few hours through neighborhood gossip and be happily confiscated by the authorities while I get interrogated under the charge of having black money that came out of nowhere.
This explains how money can't buy freedom. Money can't buy real friends nor true happiness either. It's a resource that can only be handled by those who are educated, knowledgeable, and strong enough to use it.
A career isn't a quest for money and survival, it's a quest mainly for growth and knowledge.
Humans want to be complete and live most of their life trying to be complete and satisfied. However, as much as emotionally tragic it can be, it's philosophically obvious that a person can never be complete, at least not in this lifetime.
Supposed that you have all money, power, knowledge, wisdom, willpower, and compassion in the world, will you be any better than those who don't have any of them?
From the eyes of the heavens, everyone is just as significant or insignificant as the other, as we are all just cosmic dust floating on top of a giant rock, whose only difference is our positions in the time-space continuum.
All our differences are cancelled out when compared to the grand scheme of the universe. Still, the pursuit for perfection and growth isn't a bad one, as we are born as evolutionary beings.
It always feels great to be better than others, but I bet my magical 1 billion that it feels even greater to be cooperating with others.
At any point in life, there will always be something that we lack, which we can either try to fill with our abilities, or add other people into our life to fill those gaps.
This universe is trying to tell us that we will never be enough nor complete in our own.
Every human is biologically and spiritually built like a piece of a jigsaw puzzle, and most of our lives are spent trying to fit ourselves to other people's life, and other people trying to fit themselves into our life.
It makes sense that most of our annoyances, conflicts, and problems comes from other people around us, who is having problems trying to fit into our lives, or us trying to fit into their lives.
That's why communication is the key if we don't want others sticking themselves into the wrong hole of our life.
If you're thinking something different, what I mean is that we are ought to say something like: "Hey Mr. Person, I don't like it when you do this to me, but I'll prefer it if you do this because..." more often so that the people around us can fit into our lives more properly, for smoother social interactions and less stress.
Furthermore, it would be even better if we say something like "hey Mr. Person, do you like it if I do this, what about this?" if we were the ones trying to fit in their lives.
So please, Reader-kun, I would like it more if you're focused in the contents of the article rather than flying into your imagination unrelated to the article.
(Ignore the above message if you're not imagining anything.)
Overflowing with anger from people always underestimating me, I have tried almost every possible method to elevate myself and make them respect rather than underestimate me.
However, this method itself, is what led me to my utter failure. Rather than other people thinking that I'm a dragon, it seems they are thinking of me as a puppy trying to pretend to be a dragon, which they found cute, but not the result I want.
In the end, I've become no more than an arrogant puppy in their eyes who'll do whatever is told with its tongue sticking out of the mouth. This is all because I'm dressing myself as a dragon while still doing what a puppy does.
This is terrible. What I did just made things worse for myself. But what can I do? Is there anything else I can do to be respected? I don't have any money, education, experience friends, connections, or any extensive technical knowledge to prove anything.
There's nothing I can do to become more than myself at the current moment. For now, I can only remove this stupid dragon costume I placed on myself and accept that I'm still just a mere puppy.
However, I refuse to be a mere puppy like everyone else. At first, I acted like a puppy despite looking like a dragon, so this time I'm going to act like a dragon while looking like a puppy.
Basically, I'll seriously overdose and overdress myself with humility and let my boldness, creativity, and smoothness show them who I really am.
I had enough of perfecting introductions and profiles. I'll show them who I am with my actions, not words, degrees, experience, and certificates, so all those who underestimated me can burn to ashes like they deserved to be.
It has been concluded from the very start of this article that whatever I'm doing doesn't work. Therefore, I'm going to find and do the things that actually works.
Few weeks ago, I prayed to have a different and more interesting life, so life suddenly ducking decided to have some robbers rob our house the next morning, that I'll go to the stupid farm every week, go to the annoying beach 2 days ago, then go to a resort yesterday. (The robbers got arrested and we got our items back if you're wondering.)
My life has been becoming increasingly annoying every passing day that my limits of conformity is breaking apart. I am now finding it difficult to follow stupid decisions of other people around me and learning to insist on what I want instead.
I believe that I have been annoyed enough that I am now willing to do the following:
It's not that I have improved or anything, I have just became too annoyed and bored that my instinct to cause chaos is running rampant.
I'm an extremely peaceful and quiet person but disturb me too much and you'll see the entire world burn. I may be just writing articles all day long, but disrupt me too much and I won't hesitate to swing the sword and let go of the pen.
Due to the string of events, the universe is telling me to act, more accurately, it's forcing me to act. All the problems and questions in my mind can only be answered if I do something, otherwise it will bugging me forever.
It won't be long before I can no longer have a peaceful and calm life like I do today, for the era of chaos and destruction is about to come.
My time for being a puppy has officially ended, and now I must learn to become a dragon* — one who will soar the sky higher than anyone else and reach new places that have been never seen before.**
"How easy or difficult a person's life depend on how well they communicate their needs and wants to those around them."
"Always dress oneself with humility, for it is not how you dress that you'll be remembered, but how you treat others."
"Transcendence is a state of complete understanding of the importance of every living and non-living thing in the universe, including one's own duties and obligations, which makes it a better yet rarer substitute for willpower."