I do not want to sleep yet. Lemme write something first.
I am tRanChor. Obviously, it's not my real name. Some of you may have read my articles.. you probably didn't like it. But I'm grateful you did that.
I've lived most of my life being alone, despite being surrounded by humans. My daily conversation count is quite similar to most mute and deaf humans, maybe even lesser, despite being able to speak and hear.
I have lived in relative deprivation, as you would expect from someone in a third world country. We're a lower middle class of the sort.
I have always been fearful and unlucky. Avoiding things that would lead to positive outcomes. Being curious about the things that would lead to negative ones. As well as greedily eating all misfortunes without dropping them to the floor or sharing them to any real life humans as much as possible.
As you can see, it's a little bit annoying to be in my shoes. That reminds me, my shoes gradually broke apart on school and on the way home, such that they're completely shattered when I reached home. Happened a few months ago.
Enough about that, I didn't come here for anyone's pity. I have always considered myself as a talented and dignified individual, as a prideful sovereign of my own life. Naturally, a sovereign would want to expand their borders. I, too, harbor a futile but undying ambition to become a sovereign of this world. Or at least one of them.
I have always loved daydreaming about new policies, protocols, and systems ever since I was little, such that I would often write them whenever I have the time. And time, time is one thing I confidently have in abundance.
Countless writings and articles later, I lie here on my bed, writing again. Something about a complex system, the one called Me.
Aside from the occasional daydreaming, I usually deal with my daily life in terms of Plans and Experiments. I'm not experimenting as much lately. But when I do, it answers the question "where and how can I experience something I've never experienced before?". And just like what you would expect, the results are both miraculous and disastrous. Consider them as side quests.
The main quests, of course, are the Plans. They do everything they can to answer the question "How can we progress this story and advance to the next stage, in this current condition, without making any disadvantageous compromise?"
Such question is one of the hardest questions in the world. As you may have already noticed, I'm playing this game on at least hard difficulty. Not to mention, I'm also trying to take on the Solo Player challenge, in which I must win this game without begging anyone for help or approaching any NPCs for the purpose of getting some form of support. Ah, but winning isn't enough for me. Anyone can win if they follow the meta. What I mean is, I'm trying to complete the Anti-Meta challenge at the same time as the Solo Player challenge.
I've tried the meta strategies in some of my experiments. Just like what you would expect, it's effective, too effective even. A few buttons here, get a long-term relationship. A few buttons there, and a random online person would send you money. It's high-key disgusting how effective it is since it limits other players from doing more creative things to solve the problem.
I AM NOT ME IF I DO THESE THINGS TO WIN. What worth is a victory you didn't earn with your own hands? I will not be satisfied until I carve myself an exquisite victory made from nothingness and my own blood, a victory appropriate for a sovereign of my caliber.
And now.. Countless of my plans, my half-baked plans have been cooked, toasted, and trashed. What a waste of ingredients, really. Here I find myself in one of the worse positions that my past self could have never imagined. If only I didn't gamble the crypto stuff I worked hard for.. No, no, no, they must be gambled. We already know how life begins and ends. What point is there to life if one doesn't gamble it for some absurdly hilarious outcome? What a cope.
One of the easiest things to gamble is trust, people's trust. It's not yours, and it's often plenty. So guess what I did? I gambled it all away for the sake of some hilarious experiment, then intentionally stopped when I realized it might actually succeed (like I said, I'm a fearful bastard). Naturally, all their trust of me have fallen into an all-time low just like a shitcoin ragpulled at the end, except I didn't get any winnings because I stopped midway lol.
I have done so much bullshit just to progress this story without resorting to tried and proven tricks. Sigh... The progress bar didn't fucking budge at all. Worse, it actually decreased! I can't believe it can actually decrease! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA fucken hilarious, right? It's like I sacrificed both rooks and a queen just to win... A SINGLE PAWN! It's not just any other pawn though, it's the annoying center pawn that I got rid of. Surely, it counts for something, right?
As a sovereign, I need to understand the life and games of the common folk. So I attended their school, I was patient. I have always been patient when it comes to hardships and pain. But to treat a sovereign like that? HOW DARE THEY?! Those people do not deserve the presence of this seat. So what if I already spent 18 years inside that hell and only need half a year more? I WILL NOT TOLERATE SUCH INSOLENCE. Blood is a fair price to pay for hope. 9-5 jobs, useless subjects, and infinite lines; I can understand and follow. But impertinence is where I must draw the line. At this point, people say "I hope you understand", but no, you do not need to understand my dear reader, I will not force to take upon such a heavy burden.
The same goes for jobs. There have been times where they think that being an employer grants them a right to be impudent. How filthy. They do not deserve the presence of this seat either. Truly, being a sovereign is hard. You better be grateful that you're not born as one.
The canvas is completely blank now. 24 years of trust have disappeared in an instant. 18 years of education too, have been completely flushed without a trace. There will be no better time than this to draw something huge and new. But what will I draw?
I do know what doodles I'd like to draw in the corner. The neighbors completely left and abandoned a broken apartment that might completely collapse with another powerful earthquake. The earthquake that fucked with their wifi. Our wifi. That's one pen gone. I only have red and black pen left to draw. Plenty enough. I'll leave it to your imagination about what I'll do to that apartment when no one's around. Note that this apartment is so broken that it might collapse anytime :>
There's this volunteer thing too. I joined because I thought it would be so fucking hilarious if I, a sovereign with barely any social experience or communication skills, without any knowledge of the widely used local dialect, tried to become a psychological first aid volunteer. I'm so looking forward to how long I can last there in these conditions. That, and to secretly increase my skill points in the communication ability tree.
As for the main quest, I have no fucking idea. What will I draw in my bigger and cleaner canvas? It should be something cooler than the previous ones. Well, I don't need to know right now.
I have time. I still have time.
Let's gamble it >:3
June 22, 2026, 0:22