There's too much boats on the left, large oil tankers on the right. The swimming area is too limited. The cottages are closely packed together. The shore is too short and small. Swimming in deeper waters isn't allowed. The amount of food we're allowed to eat are highly limited and regulated. There's no wifi or paid wifi here either. There are 8 of us in total for overnight stay without any house room. Nvm, two adult relatives just arrived, looks like there's 10 of us in total now. Wait!! There's actually one more adult and one baby, that means there's 12 of us now! I'm curious how and where we're going to sleep with this many people.
I... don't have a good feeling about this. The beach sucks. Another family has arrived... There's 17 of us now.
They say we're going to the beach to relax and unwind, but how is any of this relaxing? Where the duck are we supposed to sleep? It's too loud and crowded as well. My autistic ass could never. Don't worry, I don't get breakdowns or autistic tantrums. My breathing techniques are good enough to save me from emotionally charged situations.
I'll just spend this day writing my first article for the year. It's unfortunate, but I guess it's time to reorganize my life. If it were the future me, I'll spend most of my time talking to strangers here and enabling trade of food and information between other cottages. I would also give my business cards to the interesting people I meet. But I'm the present me, and the role of the present me is not any less important than the future me.
I shall fulfill my duty.
I spent the entire December losing my mind over relationships and drooling over appearances. Now I see, that all relationships are like fleeting clouds. Some stay longer than others but you'll never see the same cloud tomorrow. I have seen that all appearances are like a field of flowers in spring, pleasing to the eyes when they bloom in the morning, only to wither in the evening. I have seen enough. I have felt enough. I... have understood enough. I didn't want to understand. I didn't want to realize. But I can no longer do that anymore. It's like when I was having a bad dream this afternoon while taking a nap, then I was forcefully woken up to go to this stupid beach, where I was sitting down in a daze, until I drank my tumbler only for the internal lid to fall off and for the water to spill all over my mouth and clothes.
It's impossible not to wake up from that.
Holy duck. The toilet here in this beach has neither flush nor tissues. Those who want to flush their ass needs to ducking go outside to manually draw water from the water container. My poop was so terrified that it went back to my stomach. I was wrong. This isn't just a terrible experience. It's a nightmare. But don't worry because I have always beaten and knocked out my nightmares.
Still, what a wonderful way to begin the year!!
I think they're about to arrive. They're coming. They're coming for me. No one can stop or delay them. I cannot avoid them any longer. I have to prepare myself for them. THE PERSON IN THE MIRROR IS COMING!
No one can prepare for their arrival. But I must do what I can. This year will be... I don't know. I don't want to know. But I have to do what I can. I'll lessen my gaming time from 11 hours per day to 6 hours per day. Then spend the rest of the time reading the most popular romance novels. I hate romance. I cannot even finish the crime thrillers I was reading, how am I supposed to finish reading Pride and Prejudice? I'll probably end up vomiting every 5 minutes while reading it. But this is just the beginning of my preparations... What I need to do after that is so, so much worse and horrifying. This is the least I can do. If I cannot even do this much... I have no idea what would happen to me.
I have no time to take pictures of the clouds anymore. There's no time for me to stare at the flowers either. They're almost here. I can't afford to slack off anymore.
It may not be the beginning of the end, but it's surely the end of the beginning.